ENTRY #1399
8/12/08

THE SONG
: Relax, Frankie Goes To Hollywood
THE PLACE: Russia
THE WORD: mellow out

I got an update from the Fourstar Canada tour. Mez, I know peer pressure sets in and you want to fit in but don't back the van into other cars to be cool. We all have a role and let Rickk be Rickk.
And Frosty, I also heard you snapped on the guy that The Mez backed into. Chill out, I've had just about eneff of you.

I'm adding a new feature called The Desert Twins Fun Fact.
Fun Fact #1: Carnalag has been the same height since the 8th grade. Pretty cool.

Mikey, I didn't really have anything to tell you but I didn't want you to think I wasn't thinking about you so I figured I would let you know that Metallica is going on tour again. I think. I could have just hallucinated and that is completely wrong. I'm pretty tired.

Miss you Chick!


 

ENTRY #1398
8/11/08

THE SONG
: London Calling, The Clash
THE PLACE: here
THE WORD: now

Congratulations to Tough Guy and Melissa on the arrival of their healthy baby girl. I have a feeling a baby girl might make Tough Guy a little less tough.

Jetlag makes this column suck pretty bad.

 

ENTRY #1397
8/8/08

THE SONG
: Europa, Blondie
THE PLACE: There
THE WORD: Tomorrow

We have gay dogs and medical marijuana cards. Keepin' it fairly real.

Looks like I'm about to be a black belt without even training anymore. Pretty stoked.

Girl in trouble.

We're having a fly problem. Sickening.






ENTRY #1396
8/7/08

THE SONG
: Working Class Hero, Marianne Faithfull
THE PLACE: Here
THE WORD: Now

Correction from yesterday. The note on the fridge was not written by River. That was Chuck that posted that notice. And I don't want to say who it was directed at but Level Two, get your act together. If you didn't bring the pickles, don't eat them, jerks.

Chick, close your cute little eyes.




PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Mikey back when he felt confident enough to rock the Flock of Seagull pomp.






ENTRY #1395
8/6/08

THE SONG
: Going North, Missy Higgins
THE PLACE: Canada
THE WORD: Fourstar

The Fourstar team went to Canada to skate or something. Be careful, Fourstar.

This note on the refrigerator has me thinking that we're not getting along as well as we use to. River, I know you typed this.




PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is The Gav and Supra Pete back when The Gav felt more comfortable with is shirt off.






ENTRY #1394
8/5/08

THE SONG
: So Tired, Eric Clapton
THE PLACE: Here
THE WORD: Now

He's a watch dog, too. I know, it's ridiculous. Cute and courageous? Stupid.




PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Mikey, my friend that I love very much.







ENTRY #1393
8/4/08

THE SONG
: Creep, Radiohead
THE PLACE: LA
THE WORD: Cool



ENTRY #1392
8/1/08

THE SONG
: Sugar Mountain, Neil Young
THE PLACE: Magic Mountain
THE WORD: America

Guy, I changed my mind again. I would like three tigers and a golden retriever. Email me about delivery.

Hey Wizard Ben, you might want to pop in more then once every three weeks. Especially if the time you do come by, it's to ask for a favor. Yeah, that's right, we're in a fight again.

Aren't these clouds pretty?

 

ENTRY #1391
7/31/08

THE SONG
: Here We Go Again, DMX
THE PLACE: here
THE WORD: now

Rickk bought some of this underwear because he felt like he needed to better contain his junk when taking pilates classes. Before this, he was just wearing boxers. He and Mikey don't listen to Coldplay but they take private pilates classes.




No, Guy and Eric aren't on this team, either.

Reda, do we have to do every Wednesday with you? Just checking.

Here's a list of people I'm not speaking to:
Spike
Mikey
Rickk

Here's a list of total cry babies:
Spike

Here's a list of people that I was in a small fight with but we bonded over discussions of trademark infringement and Man Ram:
Wizard Ben

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Rickk. Looks like Mikey loaned him a hat to cap off that sweet shirt. You have to really have style to know to leave that thing unbuttoned.

 

ENTRY #1390
7/30/08

THE SONG
: Now This Is Fun, Depeche Mode
THE PLACE: here
THE WORD: now

What else can go wrong this week? Fuck.

Guy, I know you offered to buy me a goat but after seeing this video, I would like you to buy me a lion. Love you.

Callaway, I think I misled you the other day. Bakeries look like they have a bunch of bastards working at them, too.

 

ENTRY #1389
7/29/08

THE SONG
: I Feel The Earth Move, Carole King
THE PLACE: Here
THE WORD: yipes!

Guy and Frosty, good news. Bird started a bolo tie company and he's got his eye on both of you. Launch ad is pretty sweet. (Cute girl with the bolo tie, that's Bird)




Callaway, here's a demo of your new job at my bakery. Painting strawberries, not so stressful.

Gav, this is for you. Mikey get this on the 15th anniversary mix.

 

ENTRY #1388
7/28/08

THE SONG
: I Heard You Twice The First Time, Branford Marsalis
THE PLACE: conference call
THE WORD: Holy Moly!

Gav, you were kidding when you recommended Step Brothers, right? If so, good one. If not, you're losing it.

Oh, and Gav, they have Snicker McFlurry's at McDonalds right now. I think it's a limited edition so don't sleep on this one.

Gav, bring back the wake team. Come on. Stupid awesome.

 

ENTRY #1387
7/25/08

THE SONG
: Finally Friday, George Jones
THE PLACE: here
THE WORD: Friday

You know the easiest way to tell that Astrology is complete bullshit? Deborah Harry and Pamela Anderson were both born on the same day.
Happy Birthday, Debbie.
Pam, go back to Canada.

Ben, your soul mate?

And maybe this guy who gets along with guys younger them him. Maybe you guys can watch To Catch a Predator in the off season.

Gav, I think one of the other reasons you sort of fell off in your Crail coverage was the cutting of the DVS wake team.
Think about it.

I'm starting a contest on Monday. The prize will be diverse and stunning and signed by your favorite rich kid. Not Spike, Frosty.
Tune back in on Monday As if you weren't already.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is by and far an al time favorite Girl employee, Little C. He left Girl to be a rock star and a mortgage broker. But before he left he called some other gangster that worked in the warehouse with him a poser and that gangster strangled him. Good times in the warehouse.


 

ENTRY #1386
7/24/08

THE SONG
: The Boss, Diana Ross
THE PLACE: Sunset Towers
THE WORD: Spike

Crankers, I had to describe you to someone today and I said, "grumpy hippie". Don't be mad, for Mikey I just said, "pervert".

See Rickk, they lay on you. This photo is from an actual martial arts site.




Reda, that was cool footage of you and your friends in the car yesterday. Where were you guys headed? Miami?

Ben, when you get back to Boston, can you contact this guy? You never really mentioned you had any model building experience but isn't that pretty much hand in hand with the comic book/D & D scene? Thought so.

 

ENTRY #1385
7/23/08

THE SONG
: On Second Thought, Eddie Rabbitt
THE PLACE: Who knows
THE WORD: Frosty and Guy!

Not a big fan of the surf music but mute it and here's part two of the cuteness.

The other day Wizard Ben was in the front office and I almost forgot that I don't really not like him. Sorry for that hesitation, Ben. I get so deep in this column and it's emotional ride, I just lost myself in the drama. You know how that is, right? Giving 100%? Or no?

Not even fights will get people in the seats.

PARTS FROMT HE BULLETIN BOARD today is my nephew, Dave. A lot of my nephews have worked here. More then one, fired for fighting. Not Dave. He's a lover not a fighter.


 

ENTRY #1384
7/22/08

THE SONG
: I like it, I love it, Tim McGraw
THE PLACE: here
THE WORD: always

Yesterday a meeting that Mikey and I had ended with him saying, "I'll have some jump off music but I'll need help with the rest". That's right, VP, bitch.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Mikey and Jeron. Holy cute. Mikey, you should go back to this hair style, really cool.




There was so much "Mikey" in my column today, I decided to balance it out with other cute things that I love.

 

ENTRY #1383
7/21/08

THE SONG
: Happy Birthday, Stevie Wonder
THE PLACE: the universe
THE WORD: Ernest Hemingway and Cat Stevens

A special thanks to the kids that sat behind Wizard Ben at the Red Sox/Angels game last week chanting "RED SOX SUCK". Your parents obviously are giving 100% to raising you.

Someone asked me if I posted that photo of Chick the other day for Smyth because Smyth loves my dog as much as I do. Well, before Saturday when he told me he was pretty much the cutest Yorkie ever, that photo was posted for Sam's love of The Rat. But now....this one is for Smyth for sure. That wasn't the free beer talking, right , Sam?




PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Spike on the couch that Rickk use to call The Coke Couch. I don't know where it got it's name.

 

ENTRY #1382
7/18/08

THE SONG
: No Work, All Play, Hilary Duff
THE PLACE: Here
THE WORD: me

Hey Meza, remember all those rumors about Richard Gere and the hamsters? I think those were untrue but I think the one about Schnurr and the mouse might be true. Sorry.




See Spike, I had nothing to do with it. Le Lee, Mikey and Rickk are your vandals.




PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Hannes back in the Kashiwa office. He looks like he was lecturing someone. Hannes? Who was it?

 

ENTRY #1381
7/17/08

THE SONG
: Changing of the Guard, Frank Black and The Catholics
THE PLACE: My office
THE WORD: Mikey

We had an impromptu board meeting last night and in a unanimous vote, we all agreed Mikey should take over the reigns of running Girl. There is a God and he oversees board meetings sometimes. Congrats Mikey.




Hey Ben, I don't normally do this for employees but since I already gave you a job lead, here's a lead on a buddy, too. Strictly platonic.

 

ENTRY #1380
7/16/08

THE SONG
: Yes, Coldplay
THE PLACE: Forum
THE WORD: Not gay




Wizard Ben, that's so rad how you just let your paychecks build up on your desk.
Here's a cool job if you start to feel like Torrance isn't glamorous enough for you

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Rickk when he use to smoke. Smoking is cool.




Smyth, this one's for you. And of course, Rickk.




Mikey, let me know how your back feels so I know when I can start picking on you again. Thanks, love.

 

ENTRY #1379
7/15/08

THE SONG
: Not Today, Mary J Blige
THE PLACE: this column
THE WORD: blowing it

 

ENTRY #1378
7/14/08

THE SONG
: Monday, Monday, The Mamas and The Papas
THE PLACE: earth
THE WORD: Monday

River got suspended from his hockey league for asking the ref if he was sucking the other teams dick. Poor sports gravitate to this place.

I emailed Frosty the other day to ask him how Elton Brand could sign with another team after he gave The Clippers a verbal commitment and let Baron Davis sign with The Clippers thinking Elton would be on the team. He emailed back and said, "how could The Bachelorette pick the snowboarder". What?

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Jenkins on his birthday one year. The time stamp on the camera is wrong, it was 1994 I think. My camera was set for seven years earlier. Not sure what that means. Should I have saved this one for Jenkins' actual birthday? Too late.


 

ENTRY #1377
7/9/08

THE SONG
: On Your Own, Nick Lachey
THE PLACE: Crailtap
THE WORD: The Mez

For the ladies, all three of you.

I forgot to add a link for Spike the other day. Here's one of his favorites.

Mez, it's Fred Savages birthday today. What'd you get him?

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is a photo from the days when Rickk let Spike manage him. Spike had a Converse commercial to direct and they let him scout the talent, too. Rickk, who's idea to tuck your sox in your high tops? Funky.



 

ENTRY #1376
7/8/08

THE SONG
: Vampires, Pet Shop Boys
THE PLACE: here
THE WORD: you

Gav, they serve Kraft Mac 'n Cheese at Burger King now. I think it comes with the kiddy meal. Drive through with Mason, they're not going to ask if both orders are for you.

Last night on the finale of The Bachelorette she chose Jesse, the "pro" snowboarder. I lost $100 to Rickk who put his money on the "shredder". He supports the action sports in most situations.
And not to start a fight between Rickk and Gav but once Rickk realized he won the bet he said, "get your money, don't ass bet like Gavin". You should talk to him, Tim. That's the 4th or 5th time I've heard him say that.

I think once before I said that it was just Spike and I that wanted to sell and Rickk and Mikey were against it. But I think it's Mikey and I that want to sell and Rick and Spike that want to keep their street cred in tact.
But if we did sell, which of course we wouldn't because we don't even have a buyer in mind, could we get a couple of these cardigans in the deal?
We need one small, one medium and two large.




He hand wrote the note in the copy of his book that he sent me.
He was totally looking for a link in my column.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Rickk. I'm sure no one on this train was annoyed by a Canadian man playing soccer in the aisle.


 

ENTRY #1375
7/7/08

THE SONG
: Vacation, The Gogo's
THE PLACE: Wednesday
THE WORD: not here

Hey Ben, Did you have your Pierce jersey on this weekend? Maybe switch it up, doesn't seem to be creating much luck for Boston. Beat twice this past weekend by the Yankees?

Sometimes I post things just for Rickk.


And sometimes I post things just for Mikey.


And sometimes just for EA and The Mez.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today helps narrow down the window of time at which Tim's head ballooned. This was a tour in 1993 and it looked like it was pretty ripe.

 

ENTRY #1374
7/3/08

THE SONG
: 4th of July, U2
THE PLACE: USA
THE WORD: tomorrow

Ben, Did you have your Pierce jersey on the other night when Tampa Bay swept Boston? 2nd time in a row, right? Do you even still work here? I haven't seen you in two weeks.




You can buy the Cloud and ask someone to marry you. That's such a Red Sox fan move.

Natalia went to a party at Hello Kitty's house when she was in Tokyo. That's exactly what Mikey would do at Hello Kitty's house, get in the bath tub.



PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is a photo Rickk took of our old warehouse. Look carefully at the box on the right of the photo, looks like we just got some Gavin's in.




Knoxville, I do know who has your camera but she's making you a photo book before she gives you the camera back. It's coming together nicely.


 

ENTRY #1373
7/2/08

THE SONG
: Coat Check Dream Song, Bright Eyes
THE PLACE: Coat Check
THE WORD: Dream Song

That's really a song, Mez? You're amazing.

 

ENTRY #1372
6/30/08

THE SONG
: June on The West Coast, Bright Eyes
THE PLACE: The West Coast
THE WORD: June

Spike, last day of June, you know what that means? Don't over think it, buddy, it just means it's the last day of June.

Hey Knoxville, I think I know who stole that Japanese Fuji camera you were using at Spike's on Friday night. Let me know how to get it back to you. If I don't hear from you by noon today, I'll know you don't care about it and I'll tell the guy that I think stole it, he can keep it.



 

ENTRY #1371
6/27/08

THE SONG
: Thank God It's Friday, R. Kelly
THE PLACE: here
THE WORD: Friday

Rickk, look, West High has a message for you. Don't mess with my alma mater.




Yesterday I forgot to mention the awesome jumbotrons all around the stage at the George Michael show!



 

ENTRY #1370
6/26/08

THE SONG
: Careless Whisper, George Michael
THE PLACE: The Forum
THE WORD: wow




What is the only thing that could possibly make a George Michael show better? The British Bachelor from last season sitting in the row ahead of us.
Chuck a.k.a. The Bachelorette called him "hunky".







And to make it a perfect night, it was George's birthday!

 

ENTRY #1369
6/25/08

THE SONG
: If I Had To Do It All Over Again, Roy Clark
THE PLACE: this column
THE WORD: not Gav

An entire column aimed for The Gav and all it did was culminate into an irritating email late last night. It's all right, Tim. I had a bad day so you ended up on a long list of irritating people, you were in good company.

Spike, that was super rad last night when you were in the middle of saying something and then you screamed someone's name in my ear and asked them if they were hungry. You know what you're good at? Being a jerk.

Snapple? Prada? Viagra? WNBA? Switch your game up. Lease the cloud.

Turns out Jesse Csincsak might not be a "pro" snowboarder. Holy crap! Someone named Danny emailed us and said, "...he is not a pro snowboarder at all. he is just a huge kook from Colorado. dude is the biggest weirdo jock of all time". What if the Bachelorette doesn't find out he's not pro and picks him? This could be a huge disaster.

 


ENTRY #1368
6/24/08

THE SONG
: Just For You, Lionel Richie
THE PLACE: this column
THE WORD: Gav

Gav, can you let me know if you know this pro snowboarder? Or can you ask your snow team manager? His name is Jesse Csincsak and The Bachelorette is down to the final three and he is one of the finalists. I did some research on him, he's a "pipe specialist". Sounds gay.




Gav and I are looking to get Rickk entered into the World Series of Poker. We've slashed the price of the Crailtap Cloud to make this happen.

Gav, those "real fruit smoothies" they're pitching at Jack In The Box are super crappy. Stick to the 24 piece Jalapeno Poppers.

 

ENTRY #1367
6/23/08

THE SONG
: Never Forget, Fleetwood Mac
THE PLACE: the universe
THE WORD: George Carlin

Should I add a feature to my column featuring soccer players that Char and I think are hot? Let me know.




Just some relevant news items for my people:
Mikey, Ice-T and Soulja Boy aren't getting along.
Bird, Candace Parker dunked yesterday in a WNBA game. It was actually a lay up but it's the WNBA, counts as a dunk.
Rickk, The Commerce Casino is celebrating it's 25th anniversary on August 1st. Might want to adjust your schedule.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Mark G jumping into the pool off the roof of Spike's old house.


 

ENTRY #1366
6/20/08

THE SONG
: Working for The Weekend, Loverboy
THE PLACE: Art Dump
THE WORD: deadline

Mez, I'm making you a curtain this weekend for that south window in your office. Not so much for you but I don't like that I have to look at you and smile every time I walk by. I'm too busy.

Rickk checked in and said he's fine. We've been a little worried about him traveling without Mikey but he's holding in there. Mikey, text him a cute picture of you just to keep him reassured.

I extended an olive branch to Wizard Ben after the Laker defeat and in typical Boston style, he shunned me not willing to acknowledge that KG was a goof. That's fine, Ben. I already have enough friends from Long Island, anyways.

Buscemi? Call me, we need to discuss what you know that I don't......

 

ENTRY #1365
6/19/08

THE SONG
: The Soft Parade, The Doors
THE PLACE: Boston
THE WORD: gay

Hey Ben, keep up with Kobe in the off season.

Rick sent an email from the tour that he's on. The subject said, "Sough Dakota" and the body of the email had this photo and said, "One of the guys with us got shocked by the electric fence that keeps these bulls in. Pretty funny". Pretty Funny?





Buscemi, can you call me when you get a chance? We need to talk.




PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Superlewman back when leather jackets were cool.

 

ENTRY #1364
6/18/08

THE SONG
: Weird, Hilary Duff
THE PLACE: Boston
THE WORD: scoreboard

Nice season Lakers. Let me know if you guys want any of my American Express travel points to ship Pau back to Memphis or Spain. Which ever one is easier.
Congrats to Pierce and Allen. Garnet, you're a goof.

When Lu left us for brighter pastures, we wondered when we'd see some new ink and we wondered who she'd miss the most. Looks like it's Chuck.
Looks a little more professional then the one I did on her ass. We miss you, Lu!




Rickk and Mike not be gay but they're flakes and that's gayer then being gay. They both backed out of going to George Michael. Babies. (Yes, Mikey is well enough for me to start picking on him again).

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is from Rickk's keen eye. All the plates say "yo" on them! Hilarious.

 

ENTRY #1363
6/17/08

THE SONG
: Daft Punk, One More Time
THE PLACE: Boston
THE WORD: tonight

Sulu's making it legit. Congrats.

I can't pick on Mikey until, probably, tomorrow. He's not feeling well.

Nice work last night, Phillies. Let's see some more of that tonight. You should get the MLB package, Ben. The game last night was awesome.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Sean Cliver on a road trip we took to Hoover Dam. I think this was the trip that I yelled at him and told him he needed to talk more. Nice way to help an introvert.

 

ENTRY #1362
6/16/08

THE SONG
: Almost There, Killah Priest
THE PLACE: Boston
THE WORD: Lakers!

Go Phillies! Good luck in the game tonight!

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Spike back when he was trying to break into modeling.

 

ENTRY #1361
6/13/08

THE SONG
: Breathe In, Breathe Out, Kanye West
THE PLACE: Game 5
THE WORD: who cares

That's not blood, Wizard Ben. He's fat, a liar and from Boston?




Wizard Ben, why don't you guys take some time off from eating chowder and clean up your coast?

These guys are from Boston, Ben? That's cool, Jersey Girl and Ocean's Thirteen are two of the best movies ever made. Ever.



Wait, Wizard Ben, you're from Long Island? Hmm.

 

ENTRY #1360
6/12/08

THE SONG
: She's Looking Good, Waylon Jennings
THE PLACE: Ben's office
THE WORD: go Boston!

You know how I know Mikey and Rickk are gay? They're going to see George Michael together!

You know how you know Curt Schilling is gay? Not because he's on the Red Sox, because he sits behind the Laker bench at games and listens in on the huddle and then writes about it on his "blog". Go buy some more vampire blood at the costume shop for your sox, goon.

My new favorite Podium employee:

 

ENTRY #1359
6/11/08

THE SONG
: Soft, Chuck Mangione
THE PLACE: Staples Center
THE WORD: Pau

You know how you know Chuck and I are gay? We're going to Coldplay!!!!!

Wizard Ben, I worked a Cassel jersey into your severance package. You want to be flying those Celtic colors when you're looking for all new friends on the east coast.

Spike can't control the marine layer. I just found that out. Not from him, from his assistant.
What, Spike? Lots of people have assistants. Lindsey Lohan, both of the Olson twins, Hulk Hogan.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Rickk somewhere in Europe. I think Mikey shot the photo. Cool outfit.

 

ENTRY #1358
6/10/08

THE SONG
: A Girl Like You, The Smithereens
THE PLACE: Staples
THE WORD: Pau

EA, I think since you, The Mez and The Wizard are traveling, it's important to appoint someone as "supervisor". Since Rickk feels The Mez is kind of soft (Mez, sorry if you're finding that out here for the first time) you will be in charge. If you think The Wizard acts inappropriately during the game tonight, please fire him on the spot. I'll email you a formal termination letter so you have it ready. Thanks EA. You're the best.

Mez, I read last night in British Vogue that bohemian glamour is making a huge comeback so I am going to have to take Spike back to my column. Thanks.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Tone Ferg back when he was more care free and hairy.

 

ENTRY #1357
6/9/08

THE SONG
: But I Could Be Wrong, Tim Wilson
THE PLACE: Lakers
THE WORD: Who cares

You're awesome.


 

ENTRY #1356
6/6/08

THE SONG
: Big Little Baby, The Reverend Horton Heat
THE PLACE: Boston
THE WORD: Pierce

In case you were wondering what to get Mikey for his birthday.

Maybe you're not confident enough to just post the Hustler poker tournament schedule on your fridge, like say, Rickk? Here's a link for the less bold.

Our attorney said that it would be a "potential lawsuit" to have a party and not invite Wizard Ben. I told him I didn't think he was "ambitious" enough to pursue a lawsuit. He said, "let's error on the side of caution". I agreed it might be fun to try that for once. No Laker party next week. Thanks, Ben.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD. You know who he is, when it was and how cute.



 

ENTRY #1355
6/5/08

THE SONG
: No Surprises, Radiohead
THE PLACE: Boston
THE WORD: Game 1

Rickk said he's starting a gang with Spike and Rudy. Sounds scary. Especially the Spike factor.

Wizard Ben, we'll be "sprucing" up your office this week for the playoffs. Thanks for everything.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is the face that Rickk makes when his boyfriend makes him angry. You two are so cute, I mean it.

 

ENTRY #1354
6/4/08

THE SONG
: Funny Now, Kindred Souls
THE PLACE: Ben's mind
THE WORD: Celtic T-shirt

Tough Guy, River, Chuck and I took a break today and talked about gateway drugs, slinging yayo, porn, going goth and hockey. Mez, what did you guys talk about at lunch? Let me guess: Skating and The Hills?

Yesterday Rickk said, "you know how I know you're gay" and I said, "how?" and he said, "because you like Coldplay". And then I said, "you know how I know you're gay" and he said, "how?" and I said, "because i have pictures of you and the same man traveling around the world together for the last two decades". Seems like someone's a little gayer.

Chuck adopted a new member to our family. Welcome Harley. I hope those aqua colored contact lens' you made him wear don't
have any long term effects, Chuck.



Spike, that's not your favorite Wu-Tang member. Stop lying.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Supra Pete before he was Supra Pete. He started his illustrious career in "skateboarding business" as the Girl team manager and international sales manager.



 

ENTRY #1353
6/3/08

THE SONG
: Poor poor me, Smut Peddlers
THE PLACE: awesome
THE WORD: South Bay

When I talk about selling "this place" and I say "we", I mean Mike and I. Rickk and Spike are totally down to NOT sell. (Mikey, this might make us more sought after, with those two acting all pure and real?).

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is, I think a photo from a birthday party where Rickk hired a magician. And Guy was a good sport, as usual.



 

ENTRY #1352
6/2/08

THE SONG
: Enemy, Pennywise (Staci G, that is just for you, you know I know all South Bay bands suck).
THE PLACE: Celtic Ben
THE WORD: Playoffs

Mikey, I tried to post the company for sale on Craigslist but there is a designated area to type in the price of the item for sale and it won't let me type in 60 million dollars. Not to worry, I sent their tech support people a question asking how I get around that. I still plan to tell Spike we sold the company for half of what we really do.

I am not quite sure how to break the news to Chick but I adopted an elephant. This is Miss Bets. She's 6 months old and weighed 263 pounds when she was born.



 

ENTRY #1351
5/29/08

THE SONG
: Say My Name, Destiny's Child
THE PLACE: Crab Meat
THE WORD: behind your back

Spike thought that yesterday when I posted the photo of Dan Field and wrote that my resignation would just be two words, I was referring to "I QUIT". His innocence is so cute, naive like a young boy plucked from a Mark Twain novel. I was referring to "FUCK OFF". Ok, Jonzey?

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Rickk and Frosty. After a long day of skating and laughing and loving each others company, they like to relax on 600 thread count sheets.

 

ENTRY #1350
5/28/08

THE SONG
: Bummer, Harry Chapin
THE PLACE: San Antonio
THE WORD: Good call

I realized yesterday when Bird popped in my office to chat that there is about a 2.5 second period of time where I am waiting to see if he just wants to talk basketball, parties in Miami, footwear and politics or if he is about to call someone a complete fucking retard. I like the suspense, it's cool.

The Mez is back and wearing a new style Fourstar t-shirt. I wouldn't have guessed he would choose that design, it's a little flashy
with a large graphic.
Spread your wings, Mez. Not as much as Larson did because he spread them so far he resigned, but spread them a little.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Dan Field writing some sort of letter. Maybe his resignation letter but it looks sort of long. Mine is going to just be two words.


 

ENTRY #1349
5/27/08

THE SONG
: Turn It On, The Flaming Lips
THE PLACE: Lakers
THE WORD: San Antonio

I don't want to start a violent love triangle (or even a bizarre one for that matter) but EA seems to not only have kicked Carnalag to the curb, he might have become smitten with Ako and be totally over The Mez. EA, you're cute and pretty much the most adorable man this side of the Mississippi but you're getting a pretty slutty reputation.

Smyth, you might want to hit "refresh" on your Iphone. Your phone bill was 48 pages.

Yesterday Spike tried to get me to start smoking pot and then he tried to get me to get a medical marijuana card. I need new friends that are a positive influence and don't elevate their own personal short comings by my habits.

Chick was totally opposed to a photo shoot over the long weekend. Might have had something to do with a German Sheppard tossing him in the park like he was a chew toy. So today I bring you two people that Chick loves. Lu and Chico! Hard to tell who's cuter but I think it might be Lu!





PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today was probably taken around 1997. I'm guessing from the truck sketch behind Rickk's head, the Fourstar athletic flare and the unenthusiastic look on Rickk's face, the fun might have been wearing off. Just kidding, just kidding, the fun could never wear off.

 

ENTRY #1348
5/23/08

THE SONG
: Three Days, Jane's Addiction
THE PLACE: here
THE WORD: weekend

"Do Rae Me"?. OK.

We get fan mail for Rickk sometimes. King of LA? Hmmmm.




PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is the ramp at our old building. Is this called a half pipe? Or just a ramp? Either way, that's Mike Smith and his daughter, Ella. The landlord at that building saw the ramp one day and said it had to come down "immediately". Rickk managed to take care of tearing it down 6 years later.




Happy early birthday tomorrow to Bob Dylan, Roseanne Cash, Patti LaBelle and Tommy Chong. And if tomorrow is your birthday, obviously May 24th is a great day to be born.

 

ENTRY #1347
5/22/08

THE SONG
: Sleep, Phish
THE PLACE: my bed
THE WORD: 8 hours!

Larson, I've been thinking about it and I think it's really uncool that you're not here while we're on catalog deadline. You're just over at DC doing whatever you do so I hate to do this but you're fired. Don't try arguing with me, I'm final in this decision.

Smyth, I hit refresh on my computer, thanks for the tech support.

Last night I got the feeling that Chick was burnt out on photo shoots. Feel free to use this as wallpaper on your desktop until he feels like modeling again. I get the feeling he needs a few days off.




PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD is Mikey sleeping in Rickk's "guest room" about 14 years ago. Pretty sweet that he had a gym in his guest room.

 

ENTRY #1346
5/21/08

THE SONG
: Salad Days, Minor Threat
THE PLACE: Oregon
THE WORD: Smyth

Um, Rickk and Mikey, our attorney said today that he hasn't seen much skating in the last few weeks on Crailtap. I told him you guys were too busy drinking and screwing around to skate. Then when he looked nervous I said, "just kidding".

I got a time off form from Tough Guy today and in the section that says, REASON FOR REQUESTED LEAVE, he wrote, "playing hockey in Phoenix". Kind of felt bad for him. I guess if you get the nickname Tough Guy, you can't write "family reunion" or "relaxing at home".

Chick's favorite flower is pink peonies.




PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Rickk back when parachute pants were all the rage.

 

ENTRY #1345
5/20/08

THE SONG
: Ruby Tuesday, The Rolling Stones
THE PLACE: Tuesday
THE WORD: http://www.rubyrepublic.com/

Spike called to tell me he had so much fun on the Girl/Anti Hero tour. His two favorite people from the tour:
Max for warning a guy that he was going to probably get punched in the face.
Mikey for being really drunk but able to tell the guy that was going to get punched to meet them tomorrow for a game of S.K.A.T.E

By the way, Rickk told me last week how a game of S.K.A.T.E works. Sounds amazing. Maybe if you guys don't have time to play a full game, play a game of G.A.Y.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Em, Andy J, Andy M and the infamous Sprout.




Chick seems exhausted from being so precious. Poor little guy.



 

ENTRY #1344
5/19/08

THE SONG
: She Bangs, William Hung
THE PLACE: Char's hair
THE WORD: sassy

Mikey sent me this picture of Rickk from the Girl/Anti Hero tour and just wrote, "Morning time for Mr Howard". Totally normal to wake up this swollen in the morning. I'm sure there's no allergic reaction to a bug bite or anything. Tim, you swell up pretty regularly, is he just dehydrated?





Then Spike sent me this photo from the tour of Crankers and wrote, "mckrills badass". I always think "badass" when I think of Crankers.





Then Rickk sent me this photo from the same tour and just wrote, "hyper".





He's serious and playful here. And of course, stupid cute. Stop it, Chick. Last warning.





" PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Mikey sometime before 1999. I know that was the year Lakai started and I think at that point he didn't get free DC shoes anymore.


 

 

ENTRY #1343
5/16/08

THE SONG
: Party Like a Rock Star, Shop Boyz
THE PLACE: San Diego
THE WORD: Larson

Have fun, Tone!

If you're wondering why there's been typos in my column and also why there was a link that was not included so it made what I wrote not make sense, Ask Carnalag. He posts it everyday and I think he's mad at me for begging him to come back and then having to come back and now being back. But he can't quit now because he came back and he'll seem like a fickle little girl if he quits again. I guess we're in a fight again, Jeremy. Nice work.

PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Rickk and Guy looks like in Europe. And I don't know the year but it was when Fourstar was pretty "polar fleece" heavy.




Here's Chick wondering why he's so cute.

 


ENTRY #1342
5/15/08

THE SONG
: Fish, Ghostface Killah
THE PLACE: www.vbs.tv
THE WORD: no more

Rickk, I don't want to start anything with you and Spike since he might fly in this weekend to hang out with you but here's what he said about the Lakers:
1. Don't play any defense
2. They have a rapist on the team
3. Pretty weak overall

Today's JOCK OF THE DAY is Matt Harpring. Gross.




That's all I have. Mez, all you're doing is driving in a van and sleeping. Can't you post more?

 

ENTRY #1341
5/14/08

THE SONG
: Luke Warm, The Perms
THE PLACE: my house
THE WORD: food

Our attorney is now reading this site each day so what was already a whole lot not funny is about to get a whole lot not funnier.

You know the photo from yesterday with Frosty in it? He didn't even leave on the tour. Just put his stuff in the van and then split for Hawaii. What? Don't get mad at me, I'm just reporting the facts.

Our Sparkletts dispenser had mold growing in it! That's why we're not number one, we're drinking moldy water. But we ordered a new dispenser so basically, I think you know what's coming.

I know, I know. I see him everyday and even I have a hard time looking at this photo. Turn down the cute!




PARTS FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD today is Spike and Neil Diamond. They hang out sometimes, same taste in women.



 

ENTRY #1340
5/13/08

THE SONG
: Florida, Modest Mouse
THE PLACE: Florida
THE WORD: Lulabelle!

You blew it Hewlett Packard. Big time. You could have bought us. We would have taken 12.9 billion. Wasted a million, your bad

Since we're not having a shrine anymore, I am dedicating a new feature to Spike. It's called JOCK OF THE DAY. Spike doesn't like jocks but he'll tell that story another time. Here's to you, Jonzey.
Today's JOCK OF THE DAY is Dick Cheney. He has the most common trait in jocks, he's an asshole




And speaking of Spike, I wanted to make sure that everyone knew that when I posted this picture and said that Spike had a concept to hold each product in the catalog and be in the photo with each product, I was totally kidding. He's a visionary but he's no egomaniac.



And for those of you quick thinkers out there that might say, "well, he could be an egomaniac, he put himself as the center piece in this video he made", you're just stupid. This person dancing in this video is a character Spike's playing, not really Spike. Right, Spike?

Sorry there was no Chick yesterday, here's his profile. Probably hurts to be that cute.




Gav, I don't want to put any strain on your and Rickk's friendship because he and Mikey are two of my favorite people in the whole world (especially today) but yesterday when you told Rickk to make sure he didn't leave because you needed a ride back to Podium, right when the door shut he said, "weird, I don't even have a car with me today". So after a few minutes I told him he should call you and let you know so you could grab a ride with someone else, he said, "he'll figure it out". Just thought you might want to know the whole story.



CLICK HERE ENTRIES 1 THROUGH 35
CLICK HERE ENTRIES 36 THROUGH 70
CLICK HERE ENTRIES 71 THROUGH 114
CLICK HERE ENTRIES 114 THROUGH 168
CLICK HERE ENTRIES 168 THROUGH 209
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 210 THROUGH 272
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 272 THROUGH 325
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 325 THROUGH 375
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 376 THROUGH 435
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 436 THROUGH 457
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 457 THROUGH 530
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 531 THROUGH 590
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 591 THROUGH 629
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 630 THROUGH 682
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 682 THROUGH 701
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 702 THROUGH 759
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 760 THROUGH 778
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 779 THROUGH 800
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 801 THROUGH 836
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 837 THROUGH 856
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 857 THROUGH 870
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 871 THROUGH 907
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 908 THROUGH 924
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 924 THROUGH 942
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 943 THROUGH 964
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 965 THROUGH 1015
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 1016 THROUGH 1065
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 1066 THROUGH 1238
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 1239 THROUGH 1339
CLICK HERE FOR ENTRIES 1340 THROUGH 1399


CLICK BELOW FOR THE 2002 NBA FINALS, CRAILTAP STYLE:
NOW WHO'S A BITCH?