OUR MOTTO IS TO GO BY NO MOTTO

CURRENT ENTRY
TUESDAY, APRIL 19, 2004

>> "Then everybody started stickin',"

>> The following came in this morning from Rick Raymond. We passed it around the office and then put it past our new copy editor but nobody knew what to think of it. The copy editor did mention that it could be some weird new San Franciscan dialect of the english language though:

"yo broooOJKOP{JI})_I{P}"/., ioshit myself again.v"SDLvnvcmkdkk And atye meatloaf for dinner for the first tyme in like 7yrs. raymondWEQWed2w"

If you have any idea what it means, please send your translation to:

I'M FEELING RAYMONDS VIBE
c/o Crail Tap
22500 S Vermont ve
Torrance CA
90502

There's a deck in it for you if your translation is the best one we get.

>> I don't think we do links to movies, in fact the Randomer hasn't been in a movie theatre since ET came out the first time, but this one that a friend of Larson's is involved in looks really good.

>> Today was supposed to be the Crail Tap of Your Dreams and then it was just going to be dreamy but it's probably just kinda so-so, like one of those naps that you wake up from and you're barely remembering some weird dream where your uncle wanted you to help him brew up a pot of lobster chili. Gotta run. See ya later.

 

 

PAST ENTRY
FRIDAY, APRIL 16, 2004

>> Just a reminder of the two Girl/Chocolate demos happening this weekend. One in Waterford MI and another in Overland Park KS. Click the city names for fliers and don't forget to show up to see some raw street skating and also so that Jereme Rogers can sign your boobs or your board or whatever.

>> Word on the street (see today's motto? It doesn't get any more street than today's Randoms) is that the aforementioned Jereme who's going to be performing in a skate demo for you and then signing your stuff this weekend is working on a video project. More on that later.

>> Sorry about using the word "aforementioned" in that last paragraph. That word isn't very street.

>> Girl Skateboards' main art man, Andy Jenkins' solo show opened this past weekend at Compound Gallery in Portland. Have a look here. This paragraph also follow's today's theme because Andy designs skateboards that hit the streets.

>> Rick McCrank stopped by the clubhouse today, played the air guitar then left. Rick's favorite band is a skate rock band called S.T.R.E.E.T.S. (Skateboarding Totally Rules Everything Else Totally Sucks).

>> Poems to Carnahan aren't very street so we can't share this one that we wrote for him with you today:

Jeremy Jeremy
Where'd you go?
You left the Corner
Not long ago
In your place
The secretary
She sings all day
Like a canary
It's not too bad
But I'm just sayin'
Ever since you left
My heart's a painin'

>> Notice how we didn't give you Rudy, The Gav and Koston's graffiti names yesterday? There's a code in the streets and if you know that code then you know why we're keeping a tight lid on this information.

>> Keep it street this weekend, peeps. Sweet.

 

 

PAST ENTRY
THURSDAY, APRIL 15, 2004

>> Here's the flier for that demo in Waterford, MI this weekend. Eric Koston, Paul Rodriguez, Mike Carroll and Jereme Rogers will all be skating in it so you should probably go there and bring signs that say cool stuff on them. Really big signs.

>> Did you know that Rudy Johnson has a graffiti name? The Gav and Koston have them too. This is old news, we know, but maybe you didn't.

>> We interviewed a couple of copy editors for Raymond but nobody quite fit. We called them up and greeted them with "Hey faggot, you suck!" to see if they could deal with his way of communicating with people but none of them could so we're still looking.

>> That poem from the other day didn't win Carnahan back to the Crail Tap Corner, just in case you were wondering. The next step is flowers.

>> QUOTES TO STOKE:

"Trust me, we're funny" - Megan

>> Ever been in the middle of writing your column and been totally thrown off? Me too. See you later.

 

 

PAST ENTRY
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 14, 2004

>> No word yet from Scott Johnston about whether or not he plans to impregnate his girlfriend any time soon. We're pretty sure your votes will help to sway his decision though so thanks for voting. Look forward to more life altering polls in the coming weeks.

>> We added some stuff that came back into stock to the Crailshop today. A keychain, some tees, etc.

>> Something you don't see much of here in Los Angeles is bikes. Everybody drives their fancy cars and doesn't really give two shits about bikes which can be good and bad depending on how you look at it. This morning on the drive to Girl, the Randomer saw three people on bikes which was unusual to say the least. The first was a fat guy in spandex riding a fancy ten speed and wearing no helmet. His spandex outfit was one of those black jobs with the colorful company logos all over it. Second was a bald, skinny businessman wearing a button down shirt, holding a briefcase in one hand and steering the handlebars with the other and listening to something on a walkman with big headphones. Lastly, we saw a grown man riding a child's sized mountain bike. The dude was wearing a hardhat. It was a weird morning.

>> Hey, that Cale Nuske dude that rides for Royal? Did we mention that that dude's really good? He's really good. We, the Randomer(s), don't know much else about the dude besides that fact. Maybe we'll bring you a Cale Nuske Top 5's after we bring you Rickk's Top 5's that we're working on.

>> Stay tuned every day over the next month or two as we tell you each day that a different one of our team riders is rad. No explanations as to why, just that they're rad so take our word for it.

>> Have you ever tried editing Rick Raymond's entries for his column? It's pretty much a full time job. Spelling, punctuation, whatever, we're thinking about outsourcing a copy editor exclusively for Raymond. Let us know if you know anybody good.

>> We got a late entry to the ONE MAN'S TRASH contest yesterday. Rika from Athens, Ohio sent in her personal copy of the Wedding Singer soundtrack and it's super good. Our initial reaction upon opening the box was negative but after listening to the CD we turned that thumbs down into a two thumbs up. Rad. Rika, the trash is gone but we're sending you some stickers and a Crail Tap coin purse.

 

 

PAST ENTRY
TUESDAY, APRIL 13, 2004

>> How bummed are you that we retired Myspace Monday after only one week of running it? Yes, it's sad but true. Also, yesterday was Easter Monday in Canada and the UK and we totally forgot to wish the Canadians and the UKians a happy one. Sorry about that, and happy late Easter everybody. We hope it was everything that you were hoping it was going to be and more!

>> Jeremy Carnahan, who is in charge of Royal's art and ads and stuff now, used to work in the same corner as the Randomer did. Jeremy had a cubicle right next to the Randomer, in fact, and they used to joke around and talk about crap and the corner was totally awesome. But Jeremy recently left the cubicle corner and went back to the Tattoo Room on the other side of the building where he used to work. Just a shout out to Jeremy to let him know that he's missed and that this corner of the building got kinda boring after he moved to another corner of the building. We were actually gonna write a poem about it but we figured Jeremy would probably beat the hell out of us if we did. But if we were to write a poem, it would go something like this:

Jeremy's stall
It's empty now
He used to sit in it
Kinda like a cow
But not like a cow
Because cows are bummed
And cows are also
Really dumb
Jeremy's neither of these things
He brought life to this corner
A smile, a ring
Jeremy please come back
This way
We don't know why
You couldn't stay

>> More dude news... last week Rick Raymond got so hammered that he stayed up all night puking and his groin has been really sore for the past few days since. Like Black Eye Day and that punching in the throat thing from yesterday, please don't try getting hammered like that at home.

>> In even more dude news, we think Scott Johnston would make a great dad. Every time he comes in to the office here he's got his little wiener dog with him and a cup of coffee in his hand and he talks to the dog and makes sure the dog's okay and that he's not getting into any trouble. When he goes and skates the park he'll leave the dog with somebody responsible and will take breaks from skating every once in a while to come and check on the dog (the dog's name is Blue, by the way). So basically we're proposing that the dude have kids. I mean he's a ripping skater and he should still focus on that as well but he does a great job juggling skating and tending to Blue so we figure the dude is ready for fatherhood. So Scott, if/when you read this, get back to us and let us know what you think of our plan for your life.

>> Not sure what the location is for the Waterford MI Girl/Chocolate demo this weekend but we do know that it's a four man demo. More on that soon. Perhaps even an event flier if they send us one.

 

 

PAST ENTRY
MONDAY, APRIL 12, 2004

>> Sam decided on one of the two cities that a Girl/Chocolate demo is going down in this week. KC Indoor Skatepark in Overland Park, Kansas will be hosting a demo this Friday, April 16th. Rickk, P-Rod, Kenny Anderson, Mikey, Koston, Jeron, Justin Eldridge and Jereme Rogers are all gonna be there so if you live anywhere near there, get out there. Here's the flier.

Cross your fingers because we'll be announcing the second demo later this week. Is it in your town? OH GEEZ, THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING YOU!

Okay, it's in Waterford, MI and it's this Sunday the 18th.

>> For a couple of months there Girl was holding a meeting at the beginning of each month to announce the Employee Of The (previous) Month but we haven't yet heard who the Employee Of The Month was for March so we're taking the liberty to choose the winner ourselves. We've decided to split the honor (and the cash prize) between the two people who write this column, Bob K and Clive Noctchaw! Great work and congratulations, guys! Next week we will be announcing our Employee Of The Year award.

>> We've been watching a lot of movies with Kiefer Sutherland in them lately. We're not recommending that you watch any of the movies he's been in but please take today's poll to vote for your favorite.

>> Staba has watched every episode of the TV series "24" on DVD over the past couple of weeks. In case you were wondering. We'd be willing to bet that he liked The Cowboy Way more than Young Guns.

>> Shit, we meant to tell you about this other TV thing a few days ago. We watched this thing on the Discovery Channel about this type of martial art that makes you super tough, like super super tough. At the end of the program, to show everybody how tough he was, this one dude got four karate dudes to punch him in the neck from all angles all at the same time as hard as they could. Like KIYAHHH! from the front, back, left side and right side. The dude took the hits, bowed, cleared his throat and was like "next". It was fuckin' tough, man.

So we mentioned that tough guy getting punched in the neck from all sides but we don't want you to try that at home, okay? And the Black Eye Day thing from a little while back? Maybe not such a good idea to try that one at home either. FYI.

>> Ever been busted driving past Koston's house in the Hollywood hills on a Friday night just to check it out? Neither has Bartok.

 

 

PAST ENTRY
FRIDAY, APRIL 9, 2004

>> DRUNK TAP UPDATE:

Bird developed his moves and worked the bar last night at a Matix party, Bob K plans to learn by example this weekend by getting beers and shooters at a UCLA bar with Bartok and there's no word as to what Megan's up to.

>> Diamond Nick got a new laptop a couple of days ago and was surprised to find out that he couldn't just bring it anywhere, like the beach, his car or to any of his friends' houses and download music out of thin air. Once again it's...
WE LEARN LIFE LESSONS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO:
A warning to anybody out there who's planning to buy a laptop in the future: be careful! They might not be as rad as you think they are.

In related news, Nick took an online IQ test this week and then let everybody know that there are only 6 people in a thousand who are as smart as he is. There are only 20 or so people who work at Girl alongside Nick so he figures that he is definitely smarter than all of them. The dude is one in a hundred and sixty six.

>> Thanks to Ken Provost who sent us his favorite CD in exchange for a box of Mueller's trash. Ken sent in his copy of The Velvet Underground's Loaded and although the disc is a bit scratched it's totally sweet nonetheless.

>> The Gav might be off Team Crail Tap but as far as we know he's not banned from Tha Tap. Ever dug through the archives on the Girl web site and stumbled across Tim's page?

>> Hey, that posse of kids who brought the box back to Robbie and Chris have a web site.

>> COUNTDOWN TO G2K:
2 DAYS, 8 HOURS, 52 MINUTES.

 

 

PAST ENTRY
THURSDAY, APRIL 8, 2004

>> Did you forget to send us your favorite CD in exchange for that box of Mueller's stuff? Tomorrow's the cut off day for the ONE MAN'S TRASH contest and you can still make it to the Fedex drop box today if you hurry.

>> Ever tried to set up a web server when you know next to nothing about web servers and basically just push buttons here and there? Same here! But today we got a complimentary half an hour long walk through of our fancy new server from the friendly robot people at our fancy new server. They breezed through where to find Subnet Masks, IP Aliasing, Anonymous FTPs, PHP, DNS Propogation and a whole bunch of other stuff that we have no idea what it's use or meaning is. Cool. Next week the entire Girl Skateboard Co's communication via e-mail will come to a grinding halt because we really have no idea what we're doing over here. If you know anybody who works at Girl that you need to get in touch with then you'd better get your e-mail on right now because it's only going to last for so long. Also, if you liked any of the sites on that little "OUR COMPANIES" tab on the top of this page, click on em now before they pull a disappearing act like Bilbo Baggins in the Fellowship Of The Rings.

COUNTDOWN TO G2K:
3 DAYS, 4 HOURS, 23 MINUTES.
RAD.

>> Here's a list of Girl and Chocolate team riders who sometimes like to wear sweatpants when they come and visit us here at Girl:

Jereme Rogers
Ricardo Carvalho
Jeron Wilson
Brandon Biebel
Daniel Castillo
Chico Brenes
Paul Rodriguez
Rick McCrank

An apology in advance to anyone who is on that list and hasn't actually been spotted at Girl in sweats. Also an apology to anybody who has been at Girl in sweats but whom we left off of the list.

>> There's a good chance that Robbie Mckinley is at home at the Girl Mansion right now (next to that skate box that you were supposed to steal) wearing sweats and lifting a weight that weighs more than you do. Chris Roberts is probably inside thinking about skating or basketball while talking to the one resident of the Girl Mansion who never wears a shirt. His name is Dirty Dan and we have yet to see him wearing a top. Maybe one day we'll do a tour of the Girl Mansion so you can meet all of the personalities that hang out from day to day. Probably not though.

>> We were trying to work a Lord Of The Rings theme into the Randoms today but it didn't really pan out. Sorry about that.

 

 

PAST ENTRY
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 7, 2004

>> Nobody offered to write this column for us today so it looks like we're gonna have to do it ourselves. Crap.

>> Here's something that's a little suspicious. It would appear as though some car companies are now taking pro skateboarders' alter egos and using them in their ads! Here's a Toyota ad for a really bad, I mean, really rad car that they make, and they hired a Mikey lookalike to pose in a turtleneck and a leather jacket giving Mikey's old blue steel look. Or is that actually Mikey and he's just hiding his new sponsor from us? Hmmm.

>> No Fedexes yet for Mueller's ONE MAN'S TRASH contest. We added it up and our guess is that there's roughly 197 dollars worth of product in this box that we're giving away. How much did your favorite CD cost? $15? If you won the contest that nobody's entered yet you could sell the Lakai hat to your bro and buy the CD again and still have a hundred and some odd dollars worth of stuff that Mueller didn't want. Basically what we're trying to say here is quit being so damned selfish and just enter the fucking contest already. Check yesterday's entry for the rules.

>> In other contest news, we've cancelled the STEAL ROBBIE AND CHRIS'S SKATE BOX FOR A FREE CHOCOLATE DECK contest. Actually, no, we're not cancelling it, we're just changing it. The contest is now STEAL ROBBIE'S BENCH PRESS WEIGHTS THAT ARE RIGHT BESIDE THE SKATE BOX ON THE PATIO FOR A FREE GIRL DECK. Just kidding, we just wanted to mention Robbie's weights and we couldn't think of a clever way to do it.

>> In even more contest news, Brad Staba is going to do really well at Slam City Jam at the end of this month. At least that's what he told us. Stay tuned for full coverage.

>> Smyth's got a couple of Girl/Chocolate demos that he's lining up for next week in a couple of different states. Keep your fingers crossed and think extra good thoughts and maybe Sam will choose your state as one of the two! Or maybe he's already lined up the demos but he just doesn't have all of the info for us yet so we'll tell you in a couple of days. Either way, keeps your hopes up.

>> DRUNK TAP UPDATE:
The Drunk Tappers have all been pretty tight lipped this week so we're guessing there's some underhanded strategies going down and it's possible that we might be posting a FUCKIN' CHEATER update by the end of the week.

>> Somebody started posting baby photos of Girl employees on the new bulletin board near the new mailboxes near the lunch tables a few days ago. That has nothing to do with this old photo of Spike that appeared in a BMX magazine and that somebody sent to us:


RIP IT UP

>> FUCK YOU AND THE QUOTE YOU RODE IN ON:

"You're not really a bitch, more like an asshole" - Megan's neighbor to Megan

 

 

PAST ENTRY
TUESDAY, APRIL 6, 2004

LEW'S CAKETAP!

"I had a vivid, funny, weird dream last night. This is all true. I have also been threatening to write a novel on cake, using frosting as my pen. Dreams collide with reality today."

CLICK THE IMAGE TO VIEW AN ANIMATED VERSION OF LEW'S CAKETAP NOVELETTE. WAIT A SECOND FOR IT TO LOAD.

>> More from Lew, it's a taste of the many awesome inventions floating out there in the great toilet of cyberspace:
1: Are you a fan of these?
2: Okay, then, how about THESE?
3: Once you have your trouser situation sorted out, perhaps it's time for a night ride.

>> Has it been a month already? Yep, Mueller's managed to accumulate another box of... um... stuff, for you to win! It's the ONE MAN'S TRASH IS ANOTHER MAN'S TREASURE CONTEST and here's what you can win:

1. Prototype Lakai t-shirt (only 3 of these were made )
2. Prototype Lakai sweatshirt
3. Lakai fall 04 hat
4. Messed up Holga camera
5. Matt Hoffman BMX book
6. Old Fourstar, Girl and Chocolate catalogs
7. Playmobil toy
8. Ohiogirl tshirt design by Lew Baldwin
9. Lakai zine #1
10. A business magazine with a good article on Apple computers
11. A copy of Art Prostitute issue #1
12. Some book in Japanese
13. A cool music magazine called Afterhours and more...

The entry fee for this one is a bit of a sacrifice. The winner will be the person who Fedexes us the best CD in their collection. And we're not talking about a burned copy of your favorite CD, we're talking about packaging up your favorite CD that you've been listening to lately and sending it to us. Entries will be accepted until this Friday so send the CD via Fedex soon. Send it to:

ONE MAN'S TRASH
c/o Tha Tap
22500 S Vermont Avenue
Torrance CA
90502

>> AS PROMISED, BARTOK'S TAKE ON THE ORIGINS OF THE TERMS "PIKEY" AND "CHAV":

"Whilst there seems to be little debate over the modern representation of a Pikey or a Chav, things become a little cloudy regarding the origin of the actual name. Robert Dawson from Greenwich believes the phrase originates from the "Pike family who were Romanies (Gypsies) in various parts of South England from the 17th Century onwards". My research on the Pike family has not drawn any sort of conclusive result. Perhaps more plausible is Miles Costello of Sussex's explanation: "I have always understood a pikey to be a tramp or gentleman of the road. It is said that they got the name pikey from their use of the turnpike roads to ease their travelling from town to town or more specifically from workhouse to workhouse. Of course nowadays pikey is a derogatory term for an inferior gypsy, one not pure bred Romany". The urban dictionary states that the word Chav rather un-excitingly originates from the description of the "average native to Cheltenhem in Gloucestershire, England, (which rates pretty high on the Chavometer) thus the name 'CH'eltenham'AV'erage is the origin to the name". Pretty bone dry that origin, I think that we should have a Tap reader make up an origin. I did find a good Pikey joke though:

A girl pikey goes the the Benefits Office to sign on. The interviewing Officer asks if she has any children. "Yeah" she replies, "ten". "Oh really" says the officer, "what are their names?" she pauses to think then says "err there's Wayne, Wayne, Wayne....Way...yne, erm, oh yeah, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne, then there's Wayne, Wayne....and er...Wayne!". "Wow" says the Benefits Officer, "all called Wayne? that must be difficult isn't it, I mean all called the same name?" "Nahh" she replies "It's like when their dinner is ready I opens the windah and shouts WAYNE! YER TEA'S READY! and they all come in! When it's bed time I shouts WAYNE, TIME FER BED! and they all go to bed! simple". "Yes" says the Benefits Officer, "I see, but what if you wanted to talk to one of them individually?" "Oh that's simple " she said "I just call them by their surnames"."

>> Here's to getting other people to write your column for you! Cheers!

 

 

PAST ENTRY
MYSPACE MONDAY, APRIL 5, 2004

>> We talked about retiring Friendster Friday, then we retired Friendster Friday, then we brought it out of retirement, then we aced it again and brought it back again and now we are finally and completely shooing it out the back door in order to usher in a new era: MYSPACE MONDAYS!

We'd heard rumblings about this MySpace site which is basically a total ripoff of Friendster only better but we stuck with Friendster out of some weird sense of loyalty. But who needs loyalty when you can send instant messages, add music and background images to your profile and have no limit to the amount of friends you can have on your list? Woohoo! MySpace, let's do this!

Chomp On This would love to be your friend at MySpace so logon and add Chomp using the info below:


FIRST NAME: Chomp
LAST NAME: on this

One other thing about MySpace Mondays. You might find Bob K on there but don't try to add him as your friend unless you already are his friend in real life because 1. he's an asshole who doesn't want to be friends with you and 2. he's basically just on there to meet girls.

>> Due to an overwhelming response to Oliver's Chavs and Pikeys breakdown last Friday, we've asked him to let you in on the origins of the two terms so stay tuned. Oliver is actually moving from the US to overseas and will eventually make his way back to London so he can bring you a Weekly Chav Report where he takes photos of random chavs on the streets. Right Oliver?

>> The intervention with Megan about her soap opera addiction didn't go as well as we had hoped it was going to. The first step is admitting that you have a problem and instead of taking that step she's decided to turn the other column writers against us! Megan, you can beat this! We're here to help when you're ready to make a change that will drastically improve the quality of your life.

>> DOTE ON THIS QUOTE:

"Dude, I don't know how that happened" - Nick Tershay on the return of his gut

 

 

>> PAST ENTRY
FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 2004

>> DRUNK TAP UPDATE:

We're changing the rules a little bit here. Apparently Bird is having trouble installing the bartending course software onto his Commodore 64. Combine that with the fact that the "kits" that we received in the mail to practice with are essentially a couple of cups, some straws and those little plastic swords and you've got a new rule in the works. Basically, the contestants can get their bartending license any way they please; via online course, at a real live bartending school or whatever. The end justifies the means, it's not the destination it's the journey or however those sayings go... the person who gets a bartending job by May 31st and who makes the most money on their first night working still wins $2000.

>> Mike Carroll was bummed that we didn't mention that he was hangin' at that Muska/Koston demo where the Mez was perving out last weekend. To make up for it, here's the full scoop on what went down at that demo last Saturday:

Mikey arrived with the Mez in tow. The Randomer was surprised to see them there because we hadn't talked about it beforehand but managed to bump into each other there. Soon after they arrived and we said our hellos and bro'd down with high fives some kids spotted Mikey and formed a huddle around him and so the Mez and the Randomer stood around for a while talking while Mikey signed autographs. The Mez made some comments about the Randomer's hair, threw a random "It's been a while since you got laid, huh?" in there and then the Mez made a comment about Mikey being "the king of the dipshits" or something to that effect. Actually, first the Mez said something about feeling like a perv for even being there and he said he hoped that nobody that went to his high school back in the day drove by and then he said the thing about Mikey being the king of the dipshits. One of the things that makes the Mez a great cult leader is that he's a straight shooter and will tell it to you the way he thinks it is. Anyway, after the crowd had thinned and Mikey was given some room to breathe, him and the Mez engaged in a conversation with some half albino looking dude with a pony tail. Not sure who he was but he seemed like a long lost friend of theirs. Mike and pony tail dude got into a conversation about Japan and Mikey told him that he didn't really have much of a reason to go there anymore because he used to go for the electronics but the iPod basically blew everything out of the water. Next, Nate showed up and he and Mikey had a pressure flip contest on the flat ground. When that was over, the Mez and Mikey went and got something to eat and the Randomer went home. It was another shockingly exciting Saturday afternoon. Oh, and Mikey didn't skate in the demo I don't think.

>> We found out today that Megan has been watching the Soap Opera Channel all day every day in her office for the past six months. We could tell that she had some sort of problem and we were wondering why this company was falling apart at the seams but now we know why and so we can finally address the issue. We're going to try and wean her off of soaps over the next few weeks so we'll let you know business goes after that.

>> As promised, Oliver Barton breaks down the difference between a Chav and a Pikey for you:

"Chavs and Pikeys are effectively spawned of the same genotype, it is more circumstance that decides whether one is Pikey or Chav. Pikeys represent the more traditional Gypsy side of the family tree and are generally speaking, more dangerous though less vocally abusive than a Chav. A Pikey is far less concerned with external appearance than a Chav, so recognising a proper Pikey is harder than spotting a complete Chav. Christopher Massey who has conducted extensive research into the Chav/Pikey epidemic in the Amptil/Bedford area has outlined a few differences for the benefit of the uninitiated Tapper:

Pikey: big black dog called Prince
Chav: poodle called Tiger
Pikey: 200 Vauxhall Nova or Ford Escort
Chav: Souped up Nova or Escort with 200 bucket seats
Pikey: from the industrialised North of the country
Chav: from the East of the country but talking like they're from London, innit.
Pikey: nylon Nike cap
Chav: fake Burberry
Pikey: 70's portable gas heater
Chav: fake open hearth with glowing logs

Basically, a Chav is a bit of a Pikey that thinks the cheap gold and novelty Blazzin Squad cell phone ring makes them a bit posh. There are many celebrity Chavs but "Celebrity Pikey" is a bit oxymoronic; at the first whiff of fame, Pikeys tend to convert to Chavdom or disappear without trace. Eminem is a good example of someone who had the potential to be a great pikey, but the money and fame softened him into Burberry Chav. The Pikeys are the ones keeping it real.

For further Chav reference see:
www.chavscum.co.uk [editor's note: click on CHAV OF THE MONTH for photos] and also check out Ali G's influence from Asian Chavs at: www.hayezsquad.co.uk. Pikeys don't appear to be represented on the world wide web."


THESE ARE TEXTBOOK CHAVS

>> PUT THIS IN YOUR PIPE AND QUOTE IT:

"What if the interest rates go to 3,000,000,000%?" - Mikey

"Friday is my official blackout night" - Jeremy Carnahan

"The Pikeys are the ones keeping it real" - Bartok

.

 

 

PAST ENTRY
THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2004

>> Sorry, no clever April Fool's day jokes for you today.

>> It appears as though Rick Raymond's triumphant return to the Tap has been postponed once again for three reasons:
7PM, hammered, every night this week.

>> If you're from anywhere except for the UK then you probably don't have much of an idea what a "pikey" or a "chav" is. Those two words are somewhat durogatory terms used in the United Kingdom to describe a certain type of undesireable. Tomorrow in the Randoms one of Tha Tap's newest employees, Oliver Barton, who was born and raised in England, is going to describe for you the difference between a pikey and a chav. At least we hope he is.

>> You should probably go and vote for your favorite team over at the Active mailorder site right now.

>> CITA IS SPANISH FOR QUOTE:

"Barneys are Barneys for a reason, bro" - The Mez

"This is the best inventory count ever!" - Gregulator

 

 

PAST ENTRY
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31, 2004

>> RICK MCCRANK'S LAWN UPDATE:
Rick cut the grass in his front yard yesterday and then he did that trimming thing where you make an inch wide gap between the grass and the sidewalk with a shovel. We didn't ask him why he did that, but he did it and it took him a long time. The grass in his backyard is looking kinda moldy these days because it tends to flood in the winter months. We'll keep you updated on the mold situation and if Rick decides to employ any other techniques on his lawn.

>> RANDOMS UPDATE:
This is the last paragraph that's gonna say "[SOMETHING] UPDATE" at the top of it. Today anyhow.

>> The Girl web site has been updated with a bunch of new products and stuff to look at so when you're done here, go there.

>> Lakai just got their new catalog/magazine thing in. It's issue #2 and it's filled with interviews, articles, and photos and it features a bunch of upcoming products including a co-branded Lakai/Crailtap Rickk Howard shoe that's a part of their Lakai Limited Editions and will be available in a few months time. We'll let you know when it is.

Check out issue #1 of the Lakai catalog/zine here.

You know at the mall how they have those wacky, zany hat booths right in the middle where you walk? You know that one friend of yours who always stops at the booth, puts on the goofiest hat and is like "Duh, hey guys! Check it out!" and everybody looks over and laughs because he looks ridiculous? Lakai's Elmer Fudd cap is coming soon.

>> That's all.

 

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