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CURRENT
ENTRY >> In this last Randoms entry of the year 2003, we are proud to bring you... A COMPREHENSIVE LOOK BACK ON THE HIGHLIGHTS AND LOWLIGHTS OF THE PAST YEAR OF CRAIL TAP!!! Not. >> Did you notice how the Girl web site and most of the other company links didn't work over the past couple of days? Pretty cool, huh? Total highlight. >> Are you
enjoying Nate's movie reviews as much as we are? Here's review
#9: >> Did you really think we were giving you Mike Carroll's cell number yesterday? Did you call the number we posted? So did we. >> PRAYER
OF THE DAY: >> Are you gonna be bummed if we pull another one of those little "not"s or "just kidding"s? Sorry about those. Not. >> Oh! Clive just spent five minutes staring at a little logo/graphic on his bottle of water that says "Thirst Quencher!" on it. That really happened. That's not one of those "not"s. Seriously. Really. >> When the Antisocial video comes out next month and there's a teaser video clip on the web site that they're making you're totally going to want to buy it. That's real, too. >> The Girl Art Dump's Pedrosideways art show is over but you can buy the stuff from it in the Crailshop right now but you already knew that because we already told you on the way in so what the hell are we doing repeating it over and over again for anyways oh well it's just another one of those run on sentences that we like to run from time to time so don't worry about it bro. Again: for real. >> Speaking of bros, Smyth's bros opened a women's shoe store and he wanted us to let you know about this new women's shoe store because he knows how much you love women's shoes. Sanger and his Linktap are both still in Mexico so here's a link to Smyth's Bros' women's shoe store. You'll have to figure out for yourself whether that one's real or not.
>>
So I guess that's it for 2003. Woohoo! Yeehaw! What's on the agenda
for the Randoms in 2004?
PAST
ENTRY >> "Cabo Wabo" Ringer and "Cancun" Sanger are buying souvenirs on opposing coasts of Mexico as you read this. We thought about writing some trash about them but instead we're offering them an ever festive though a little bit late Felize Navidad. Party. >> Nate's
movie review #8!: >> Here's an update on Nate's Strange Brew contest. >> It's pretty quiet here today. >> WORD
OF THE DAY:
PAST
ENTRY >> We don't usually post this type of news but this one's a holiday special. Kinda like how TV stations only play those Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer claymation movies in December: You probably already heard that John Cardiel broke his back, right? No shit. We don't have details (so don't e-mail us asking what's up), but the news is true. John, get well soon please. Tappers, please think good thoughts for John over the holidays. >> Back to our regularly scheduled programming. >> Is homeys spelled "homeys" or "homies"? If you really feel like answering this question just send your answer to Sanger and he'll forward it to me. >> Supra Pete called today to let us know that he's going to try and lay off the booze for 2004. How he's managed to run a successful business being drunk 24-7 for the past few years has always been a mystery to us. We're wishing the best of luck in the '04 to the guy we used to call Pisstank Pete. >> You know what you want to do with all that cash that gramps is about to give you for Christmas? You want to spend it all in the Crailshop. You probably also want to spend some of it on a nice thank you card for gramps because that's a really nice thing that he's gonna do for you especially considering that you're not even his favorite grandchild. >> After your shopping spree in the Crailshop, if you have any money left over you might want to invest in one of these:
They're no unicorns but they're still pretty special. >> Do you like it when we talk about what we were going to write about but didn't? We were going to write something about a patent today. But we didn't.
PAST
ENTRY
>> Remember when we said today's Randoms were gonna be super rad? Yep. >> Your friend, my friend, Tito's got heartburn. >> The tally is in and after paying for gas for the the RV and Bird's meals throughout the weekend, we made away with roughly $3500 from Bird's Holiday RV Blitz sale. In case you're not sure what the blitz was, Bird went to Third and Army in SF his weekend with a shitload of stuff we found in the closet here and sold it all. Well, almost all... there were a couple cases of that old double allen key Diamond hardware that just kinda sat there but aside from that everything sold. Watch the Randoms in the coming months when we announce Bird's next get-kinda-rich-for-a-couple-of-weeks scheme. >> We're going for a record on how many times we can use the word "Randoms" in one Randoms entry today in the Randoms.
>> Unicorns.
PAST
ENTRY >> As a special early Christmas gift to you, Tito, Raymond, the Ringer and the Randoms-er all have new, limited edition, signed, super rare, weekend entries for you today. The Randoms-er's one is kinda sucky but whatever; if you had something better to do then you'd be doing it. >> Did you get down to Bird's Holiday RV Blitz at 3rd and Army this morning? He blew the back doors off that thing. >> Monday's Randoms are gonna be so rad. Seriously. >> QUOTES OF THE DAY: "Is that you or the cows?" - Rickk "You can't put that on tha Tap." - Brad Staba
PAST
ENTRY >> Next week we're going to be selling the posters, tees and other stuff from the Pedrosideways exhibition in the Crailshop. To get you all excited for it and shit here's a photo of a piece of one of the seven panels from the installation that the Art Dump collaborated on for the show:
>> As promised, Kelly Bird will be holding a pre-christmas blowout sidewalk sale this weekend! Kelly is driving the Podium RV all the way up to Third and Army and will be moving all of that stuff that we found in the closet here a couple of weeks back. The door opens at 10AM on Saturday morning. Be there! (Kelly accepts cash only) >> We're not sure if our pal Ricky McCrank ate any chips today. >> We're pretty sure that we're going to be selling our pal Ricky McCrank's Antisocial DVD in the Crailshop in a couple of weeks. >> Have you ever washed your hands in a sink and then when you looked up for a paper towel to dry your hands with you saw a sign that said "DO NOT USE SINK"? Me neither. >> Have a great f'n weeekend. We mean that.
PAST
ENTRY >> Tito's been cleaning out the lounge and dipping his face in wine. In that order. I think.
>> Ty: send us those self portraits, all right? All right! >> Somebody told us something today and they didn't say "Don't put that on Crail" but we think they meant to say "Don't put that on Crail" so we'll let you know what it was that they told us some other time. >> What are you doing tonight? I think we're gonna watch strange brew. >> Rick McCrank was eating chips today as a snack. He's probably not gonna get sponsored by a chip company but he was eating chips and he said they were good. >> Stay tuned tomorrow for the Crail Tap of your dreams!
PAST
ENTRY
>> "MJ'S
BIG MOVE" UPDATE: >> This is quite possibly the best band ever formed.
That Christmas party that you missed was off the charts! Above is a photo of Biebel and Lori D. Biebel is wearing his award winning "Gucci" sweater and Lori D is rocking the new Fourstar backwards hood jacket. >> Have you seen enough photos from the Girl Chistmas party yet? That's rad because we have more that we'll be showing you tomorrow! >> That's all. Party.
PAST
ENTRY >> Coming soon! The very first release from Tha Tap Records: EGOS
N' DRAMA >> Man, that swelling in Biebel's arm still hasn't gone down yet. Did you see the photo on the front page? His bicep still looks bigger than his head and we're more than a little bit concerned now. >> Guess what? Marc Johnson is moving to LA! >> RAD
SWEATERS CONTEST: >> We're working on getting the t-shirts, posters and prints from the Pedrosideways show up in the Crailshop. Well, we're not working on it this very minute but we will be very soon because we got all of the stuff back from the gallery that it was at. When we put it all up in the Crailshop you can buy it and shit. It'll be rad.
>> QUOTES OF THE DAY: "That shoplifting little slut!" - Mueller "I didn't say I hated you and you steal, I said I hated you and then I asked if you steal" - Megan
PAST
ENTRY >> We still think Unicorns are special but the contest is over, dude. Ed Luschinski won the thousand dollars. So please stop sending entries. >> Do you ever feel like kicking a fat assed hole in the wall? Wait, we asked you that last week. Whatever. We don't feel like kicking a fat assed hole in the wall today. Do you? (just nod yes or no) >> The Tap is totally interactive today. >> And it's pretty much All Nate from this paragraph on, except for one thing about an evil dictator... >> NATE'S MOVIE REVIEW #7: THE BIRDS! >> Nate's Strange Brew contest is officially over! But you can still send him your phone number if you're interested in receiving a free prank call. Send him other people's numbers if you wan him to prank call them, too. The dude has a lot of time on his hands right now. >> They caught that one evil dude so it should be all sunshine and daisies and unicorns from here on in. Rad. >> Are you ready for us to start getting all politcal on your ass? You're not? Okay, fine then. You win. >> QUOTES OF THE DAY: "Totally ill like an oil spill" - Nate
PAST
ENTRY >> We know how excited you get about Friendster Fridays so we'll give you a second before we drop this next little tip. Okay, are you ready? Breathe deep... You can now be Friendsters
with Mike Carroll's newest shoe! The Carroll 3 is now
on Friendster!!! Just search for the following user (or click the shoe
below) and then add it to your list of Friendsters and the shoe will
add you back: >> That Antisocial video premiere is tonight. Even if you love cats and hate Rick McCrank for hating cats, don't forget to go there and watch the video. If Rick goes up to the front to introduce the video you can heckle him. Oh, and go to this party after the video and give Rick a piece of your mind about this whole cat fiasco. >> SCIENTIFIC
FACTOID OF THE DAY: >> Remember when we told you to send Nate Sherwood your phone number? He's making prank calls today. Expect one. If you haven't sent Nate your number yet, do it now. >> Do you know how many people have entered Nate's Strange Brew contest? None. How about we throw in a Mike's A Dick / Rick's A Dick reversible Crailtap t-shirt that was never sold in stores and a bunch of Girl stickers? Will you enter now?
PAST
ENTRY DAILY
5's
1. I'm allergic to cat's, but I have three >> We're thinking about switching our motto from ALL UNICORNS ALL THE TIME to ALL PETS ALL THE TIME. We'll let you know. >> If you live anywhere near the Canadian province of British Columbia then you need to get your ass to Vancouver and the Antisocial video premiere tomorrow night. I know we already told you this on the way in but come on man, don't miss this one. >> Tito is most definitely back. >> Rudy Johnson almost killed himself snowboarding yesterday but he's okay now and is expected to be ripping again by this weekend. We've heard some rumors about Rudy's upcoming pro model shred sled but you didn't hear that from us. >> We hear lots of rumors around here and we're not to big to listen to the rumors it's just that we're too damn big to pay attention to 'em. >> You know what are rad? Red jeans are rad. >> ACRONYM
OF THE DAY: >> QUOTES OF THE DAY: "If that guy needs a history lesson, have him give me a call" - Bird
PAST
ENTRY
>> Have you ever had somebody messing with you and you were like "What the hell?" and you thought they were losing it because you didn't know that they were messing with you but then you found out through somebody else that they were messing with you and you were like "What the hell?" Again, no need to send an e-mail in regards to this, just nod "yes" or "no". >> Girl Skateboards' vice president, Mike Carroll, has recommended that we put a PG rating on the front page of Tha Tap. >> RUN
ON SENTENCE OF THE DAY: >> There's a rad dude selling fake Louis Vuitton and Gucci handbags at the corner of Sepulveda and Vermont in Torrance which is a weird coincidence because that's where Bird was going to set up shop this weekend for the sidewalk sale. Because of the bootlegger dude there's been a change in plans so, again, we'll let you know where he's going to be on Friday when he makes his final decision. You don't want to miss this one. >> Nick Tershay has some news but he doesn't think you're ready for it yet so get ready for a couple of days and then we'll tell you what it is. It doesn't have anything to do with the bubble less griptape. >> We forgot to mention the new Lakai catalog. It's fresh. Go to a shop and ask the shop dude if you can read it. If he gives you attitude just be like "Dude, get over yourself and just let me read the catalog, dude".
PAST
ENTRY >> WELCOME BACK TO THE RANDOMS WHERE IT'S ALL UNICORNS ALL THE TIME! PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO FULLY ENJOY THE WINNING ENTRY WHICH WILL BE UP AS THE "CRAILTAP DAILY" FOR ONE MORE DAY! Mike Carroll called Ed Luschinski today to let him know that he won a thousand bucks. That interview might be coming soon as a downloadable MP3 if we can edit it down so it sounds rad. >> In other unicorn news, unicorns are still special even though our contest has come to a close. >> Here's a place to get some rad posters. >> Here's a record company that's pretty rad. >> Here's a rad movie that you might want to rent tonight. If it's not in you should maybe go for this one instead. >> Today the Randomer isn't in a bad mood like he was yesterday. So you know. >>
Here's a few things that might not have happened today: >> Do you ever get weird muscle twitches where your eyelid just flutters randomly or a muscle behind your knee feels like it has a mind of it's own? Have you ever punched a hole through a wall? How about kicked one? Did you get in trouble? Don't think that when we ask questions that we actually want you to send us your answers. Just nod "yes" or "no" to yourself and that'll be fine. Thanks.
PAST
ENTRY >> CONGRATULATIONS
TO ED LUSCHINSKI OF KENDALL PARK,
NEW JERSEY! ED IS THE PROUD NEW OWNER OF ONE THOUSAND UNITED STATES
DOLLARS THANKS TO HIS STUNNING ENTRY TO THE DRAW
A UNICORN AND TELL US WHY UNICORNS ARE SPECIAL FOR $1000 CONTEST! Congratulations are also in order for Thomas Holliday of Granada Hills, California. Thomas made us this zine (click each image to advance) about unicorns and why they are special which got him 2nd place and a brand new complete skateboard. 3rd place congratulations and a sticker pack go out to Jordan Marty of Palm Bay, Florida for this entry. Lastly, here are a few of the finalists for you to talk shit about. >> TO THE PERSON WHO SENT IN A UNICORN CONTEST ENTRY LAST WEEK AND WROTE "ANTHRAX INSIDE" ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE ENVELOPE: That was hilarious. Expect a call from the FBI and the Buena Park police later today. We've contacted them both in regards to this matter and they both though it was pretty funny, too. Thanks. >> We got a voice mail from Bird early Saturday morning. I guess the DVS/Matix/Lakai RV broke down on the 405 freeway right past LAX so the sidewalk sale has been put off until next weekend. We'll let you know where he's going to be this Friday. >> The Randomer is in a bad fucking mood today. Bye.
PAST
ENTRY >> WE'VE
CHOSEN A WINNER AND TWO RUNNER UPS FOR THE DRAW
A UNICORN AND TELL US WHY UNICORNS ARE SPECIAL FOR $1000 CONTEST!
>> We got all excited about hooking you up with a new Friendster today like we did last week with Chomp until we realized that there was a boob in the photo of the Carroll 3 from Lakai that wanted to be your Friendster and that we don't usually link to photos of boobs so instead of introducing you to that shoe and that boob this week we're bringing you another one of those confusing banners for free smileys. >> Puffy swishy pants with Tito! >> Nate Sherwood's movie review #6: JAKIE CHAN'S FIRST STRIKE! NATE'S STRANGE BREW CONTEST!:
AND YET ANOTHER CONTEST:
>> If you're thinking of calling us asking to buy some of the stuff that we found in the closet yesterday, save your money on the long distance call because Bird's already loaded it all up into that RV that has the big DVS/Matix/Lakai logos on the side of it and is driving it down to the Venice boardwalk to sell it all tomorrow. Take part in BIRD'S FIRST ANNUAL SIDEWALK SALE at the cross streets of Pacific and Windward tomorrow at noon. Bird: it's still 50% on the low. Don't forget.
PAST
ENTRY >> Kelly Bird stopped by yesterday, handed a box of Lakai Holiday 2003 zines to Clive and said "Don't tell anybody but I stole a bunch of these things from the Lakai warehouse. If you put 'em up for sale in the Crailshop I'll give you half of the profits on the low". Done. Buy one now because unless you work at Lakai and can steal them from there this is the only place you can get em. >> It's Tito's "I've been out of town so fuck you" daily! >> Every time
we mention >> Remember how we found that VX1000 in the closet the other day? Well, we were snooping around in there again today and came across 5 pairs of size 12 Lakai Kingstons, a pair of fancy Nike hiking boots, a ton of original artwork, an electric guitar, an acoustic guitar, two leather seats from an Escalade, a snowboard with boots and a jacket, a stack of sample skateboards and a bunch of those green completes used in Yeah Right! Hey Bird, do you have an ebay account? We'll give you 50 percent on the low if you help us move this stuff. Remember how we found that VX100 in the closet the other day? Wait, we just said that. Anyway, to the person who keeps e-mailing us asking if they can have it for free: how about a big fat NO. That thing belongs to somebody. Same goes for all that other crap we just listed. You might be able to buy it off of Bird, but we're not just giving it away. >> Speaking of giving, have you ever given Nate Sherwood your cell number? Yep. Do it now so tomorrow he can call you and give you hints on how to win the contest he's holding on the Tap. It's a little contest, not as fancy as the $1000 Unicorn one (which we are most definitely announcing a winner for tomorrow) and you actually won't even need any hints about winning because it's one of those "do this first and win" type contests but you still should send Nate your phone number. >> What's the holdup with Skate Mental? When is the Hot Chocolate Video coming out? When and where can you get the Antisocial video? Has a date been set for the Lakai video? We have none of these answers. Sorry. >> Remember that cold that Smyth gave to everybody when he was at the peak of being ill and he filled the vending machine and put his germs all over the packaging for the candy and stuff? Everybody that he gave it to is still loving it. It was like a free little bonus with each purchase. ONE WEEK ONLY: FREE COLD VIRUS WITH EACH PACKAGE OF SNACKS! Okay, maybe that's just the fear of germs talking but it could have happened like that. What if there was a crazy air bourne virus floating around that could wipe out all of humanity like in that movie 28 Days Later? What if the building was clean and everybody had been quarantined but Smyth forgot we weren't supposed to leave so he went out and got a burger and brought the virus back with him and stocked the vending machine with it? That'd be messed up, man. >> Would today's Randoms be what Slap magazine was talking about when they said we have "off days"?
PAST
ENTRY >> OFFICIAL
PRESS RELEASE #3: >> You should probably spend a day with BA on the Fourstar site now. Actually, you'll probably only spend about 45 seconds with him; Atiba spent the day with him so you don't have to. He does that a lot. >> LEW'S HAIKUS: Diamond
grip tape Cale
Nuske skates hard Clive
Noctchaw moments >> COLOR
OF THE DAY: >> IN CASE
YOU MISSED ACCESS HOLLYWOOD, ET AND EXTRA LAST NIGHT: >> Ever get a paper cut in that web between your fingers while opening a late Unicorn contest entry? Rad. So we're obviously still going through the entries here but have no fear, the announcement of a winner is only a couple of papercuts away. >> That's all we got. Sorry, no apologies today. Huh?
PAST
ENTRY >> Do you ever flip through skate magazines and see a two page sequence of somebody and before you even look at the trick you know that you don't care for the dude so you just flip the page without even seeing what the trick was? Is that bad? >> Jeron Wilson has been eating fast food for lunch every single day for the past ten years and he's still skinny. Is that normal? >> We got some photos of Rick McCrank today and he looks like an elf in some of them. Is that weird? >> Did you know that Antisocial is almost finished their video? Which do you think will be released first, the Antisocial video or the Hot Chocolate video? >> Okay, no
more questions for you today. Only answers. You're wondering who won
the Unicorn contest for a thousand bucks, aren't you? The answer
is: >> We did it! We're Slap Magazine readers' 7th favorite web site! Here's a list of their top 10: 1. [CENSORED
BY THA TAP] >> QUOTES OF THE DAY: "I wore my iPod just to make it trippier" - Spike "Save it for your relapse" - Rickk "Did you do something to your hair?" - The Ringer "I've still got a bit of a whip in the back" - Frosty
PAST
ENTRY >> The DRAW A UNICORN AND TELL US WHY UNICORNS ARE SPECIAL FOR $1000 contest is officially closed for entries! If you didn't send out an entry already or you flailed at the last minute and tried to send one to us via e-mail, you're a total loser. I mean, you lost the contest. If you DID send an entry, then cross your fingers because the judging has begun. There's a grip of entries to go through but we should be announcing a winner and possibly some runner ups by mid week. >> It's kinda sad that it's not Friendster Wendster today, but it's happy that Chomp has already made 195 friends since last Wendster. >> Mike York and Daniel Castillo came wandering through Girl today talking about basketball, skatin', knees and the death of Soulja Slim. >> Biebel got a tattoo this weekend. It says "Biebel". >> That's it.
PAST
ENTRY >> I know, I know, it's wild and crazy, but we're renaming "Wednesday" to "Friendster Wendster"! Because of the upcoming holiday, we won't be around to celebrate Friendster Friday with you, so we bumped it a couple of days. Party!
Perhaps you recall
a couple of months back when our beloved Chomp got his entire
Friendster account deleted by the powers that be because he had too
many friends on it? We were all pretty devastated over that one. In
fact it's difficult to say which of our fallen soldiers we miss more,
the original iPod or Chomp. Long story short, Chomp
is back from the dead and he's inviting everyone to be his Friendster
again! Just search for: >> Somebody found this somewhat disturbing photo of Bird in some girl's profile on Friendster. >>
NATE UPDATE: Here's a really gross little fun fact that Nate told us today. Don't read this next sentence if you don't feel like barfing: the fluid that is draining from his brain right now is "the same stuff that's in zits". >> Get sponsored, hang with Biebel or Danny Garcia... we paid Slap Magazine a lot of cash on the side this month so that they'd feature our team riders and team manager. Keep that little bit of news under your hat, okay? >> Banned
from the Tap: >> You now have less than a week left to mail us your unicorn drawing and tell us why unicorns are special to enter our $1000 contest. If you don't send an entry, you're probably one of the people who'll be talking about the winner like "Shit, I could draw a better fuckin' unicorn than that. You dicks should give me the thousand bucks" and we'll delete your e-mail without reading it because that's what we do to most of the e-mails that we receive that have even the slightest hint of whine in them. So just draw a unicorn and lose fair and square, okay? >> Did you ever see the movie Heathers? That part where Winona Ryder burns her hand with the cigarette lighter after realizing that they actually killed the jocks instead of shooting them with blanks? And then Christian Slater lights his cigarette off of her burning hand? That part was insane, man.
THE
RANDOMS ARCHIVE: |
