CURRENT ENTRY
MON, MAY 5, 2003

>> I guess it's back to the feminine colors tomorrow as Bob and Clive are back. Welcom home, ladies.

>> Ryan Sheckler takes Slam City? Beating Yeah Right's McCrank in the finals?

>> Biebel getting a model? HOLLA!

>> Damn Clive and Bob and all their pink type and travel plans. How much of the Slam City contest did they actually see? Well, let's just say it's likely they saw more bottoms of pint glasses than skateboarding... hopefully, they'll get us a report on the shinanigans tomorrow. In the mean time :

>> Boxes of Yeah Right are being delivered to Girl today from the super duper. Which means, I'll be taking one home. You? You'll have to start bugging your shop bro.

>> Yeah Right trailer on Spike's career-thus-far compilation DVD? Also heard that The Woods piece from Mouse will be featured on said video. This is one boy who will never forget his roots. Thank you Mr. Jonze

>> Almost forgot... the annonymous author of Ring-a-ling is pissed — I forgot to upload their post on Friday. So sue me. Check the scroll next door... I'm going back to work, fluckies.

CURRENT ENTRY
THU, APRIL 30, 2003

>> Above is the front of the flier for the Yeah Right! photo show that opens tomorrow night at Antisocial. Did we mention that they're going to be playing the video during the opening? Yep. Here's the barebones info:

a "YEAH RIGHT!" photo show
may 2nd - june 9th
opening reception may 2 at 8pm

images by:
andy mueller
bob kronbauer
spike jonze

antisocial
2425 main street
vancouver bc
604 708 5678

>> Me (Clive) and Bob leave for Vancouver today and we'll be checking into a four star hotel room (four star, not Fourstar) tonight that's been registered on Smyth's credit card. Bummer that Sam decided not to go to the contest. Room service, massages, video rentals, mini bar and drinks in the lounge... it's been rumored that you can even put limo service to and from photo shows and skateboard contests onto your room tab. Have you ever wondered what the limit on Sam's credit card is? So have we. We'll let you know on Tuesday after we check out.

>> Speaking of checking out, have you checked out Bird's Blog over at Lakai.com lately?

>> Oh yeah, and just because we're out of town doesn't mean you won't have something to read: Crailtap OG, Carl Sanger, will be Randoming you tomorrow and Monday.

>> ON Video is having a premiere / BBQ / ping pong tourny in celebration of their new issue next week and there's talk of the Girl Ping Pong Federalis saddling up and moseying down there to regulate.

>> BE PREPARED, TAPPERS
(daily tips for better living)
SCORING CHICKS AND PARTYING EDITION:

B.P.T. #14
[Censored by McCrank. Sorry.]

>> QUOTES OF THE DAY:

"It's a pink pig you fucking spaz" - Rick Howard

"You never have to ask Jeremy if he wants to drink" - Bob K

"Don't send them the evidence" - Sam regarding the licorice with poop in it

>> Ever been late for a flight because you got caught up watching Yeah Right! when you should have been updating the Randoms? Me too. Later.

CURRENT ENTRY
WED, APRIL 30, 2003

>> A Crailtap feature? For real? Yep, it's our interview with Brian Anderson, and it's good stuff. Have a read.

>> SNACK MACHINE UPDATE:

Either Smyth is slippin', somebody's been tampering with the snack machine here or candy just ain't what it used to be. Earlier this afternoon, faithful Twizzlers fan and longtime snack machine supporter, Megan Baltimore, paid her hard earned 50 cents for her daily fix and this is what she got. What's that brownish stuff on the inside of the wrapper, you ask? That's a good question. When asked if he had any comment on the fiasco, Smyth said, "Oh my god... this has never happened before... I'm suing Hershey [Twizzlers' parent company] for giving my snack machine a bad name."

>> It looks as though Jereme Rogers, Crankers, Tony Ferguson, Clive and Bob K might be the only Tapheads up in Vancouver this weekend. Everybody else is afraid of airborne diseases and stuff. Check the Tap on Tuesday for a full (?) report on the probably not-too-wild weekend.

>> THIS BACKYARD RAMP IS ACTUALLY IN A DUDE'S BACKYARD, DUDEBRO:

This one looks like a lot of fun. It was sent to us by Pete C who says "It's the only place to skate because we live in a small town in Rhode Island called Hope Valley."

>> QUOTES OF THE DAY:

"I came to get paaaaiiid." - Marc Johnson

>> Be Prepared, Tappers
(daily tips for better living):

B.P.T. #10
Lying will usually get you nowhere, so unless you have a really good reason to do so, just don't lie, okay? Did we already tell you this?

B.P.T. #11
Do as we say, not as we do.

B.P.T. #12
If you visit the Girl offices at 3 in the afternoon on a weekday and you want to watch a video on that fancy TV that they've got you should crank the volume up REALLY LOUD so that everybody in the building can enjoy.

B.P.T. #13
Man, these B.P.T. things are really boring aren't they? Maybe tomorrow we'll bring you tips on scoring chicks and partying and stuff.

>> OFFICE SOUNDS: MEGAN B:

"I listen to a lot of Pennywise but that's just because the walls are thin."

PAST ENTRY
TUE, APRIL 29, 2003

>> You can read more about it in RING RING RING, but here's some photos from the Paris Brawl:

1. Rick doing the superman inside the club.
2. Biebel doing the Nelly inside the club (photo from Eric's mobile phone cam).
3. Mikey doing the "Do you think it's broken?" back at the hotel.

>> Here's an article from a Canadian newspaper about Yeah Right!, Rick Howard and his signature move: "Yeah Right! Star A King George Dropout"

>> We just installed a new handle on the urinal in the men's bathroom here at Crail HQ. We're taking care of business over here.

>> LINK OF THE DAY:

CCS put up some words and photos about Yeah Right! and the LA premiere that you won tickets to.

>> QUOTES OF THE DAY:

"You shit-canned Bob K, I thought you liked him?" - The Gav

"I was the only one in the woods" - Rick Howard

"Does my nose look normal?" - Mikey

"Let the hating begin." - Ty Evans

>> Be Prepared, Tappers
(daily tips for better living):

>> YOUR BACKYARD RAMPS THAT ARE NEVER EVER IN THE BACKYARD:

There's a lot of people out there sending us photos of their suburban setups who I guess don't want you to know where they are or who they are. All mysterious n' crap. This one was sent in by Cody from we have no idea where. If you're sending in photos, please give us information. A story even, like...

"Hey Clive,
One day we set up this stuff in front of my friend Dave's house and it was sick dude we were busting all this crap off of it and then fuckin' Dave's brother comes up outta nowhere and starts busting kickflips off of this launcher thing! Man we had no idea the guy could even skate cuz he's like a total goof but he just came out there with this board that I don't know where he got it but dude it was sick and you should probably sponsor him or some shit because the guy is amazing that's all I have to say and thanks for your time,
Gene from Oregon"

It doesn't have to be like that, but a little info about the photos would be appreciated. Like what city or town they're in at least. Please and thanks.

>> More Office Sounds coming your way. This is what Mark Lewman has been listening to lately:

- The sound of hair growing
- The scrape of tiny rat feet funning a wheel in the still of the night
- Empty threats from street vagrants
- Cell phone voicemail
- Ambient background track for Ratchet & Clank PS2 game
- QUEEN -- Greatest Hits
- FAT LIP (Pharcyde) -- works in progress via DJ Squeaky Clean
- BOBS -- Plugged
- YOUNG MC -- Stone Cold Rhymin'
- HAYSEED DIXIE -- Bluegrass AC/DC cover band, misc. selections
- DOMINIC FRONTIERE -- The Outer Limits Original Television Soundtrack

PAST ENTRY
MON, APRIL 28, 2003

>> The chip that we planted in Koston's wig is chillin' up in the hills and it hasn't shown any activity for the past few hours, so we're assuming that he made it back safe from the Yeah Right! Euro premieres in one piece. Smyth's tracking chip was spotted stocking the snack machine earlier today, so he must be back from the US premieres. We'll bring you stories of adventures and debauchery tomorrow if we hear any. I'd be willing to bet that Mike Carroll brought back a few digital photos.

>> Not only does Eric have a satellite chip in his wig, he also owns one of those fancy phones that you can take photographs with and send them to people. Here's a photo that he sent us of Biebel, Rick Howard and Mike Carroll with some other tourists in Paris wondering why they got crappy service everywhere they went.

>> Did you see Mikey's slide show that played while people were taking their seats at the premieres? I'm pretty sure all of those photos were taken with the MikeyCam 2000™. We're going to try and bring that gallery to you soon.

>> Dear Mike Carroll,

Please bring the photos from the slideshow in to Crailtap HQ the next time you're coming here. That would be cool.

Sincerely,
Clive

>> Here's what Slap had to say about the Yeah Right premiere in LA. How about that photo of Mike Carroll getting pinned down? The dude is like a one man Beatles for the new millenium.

>> Now that we've set up this triple scrolling window thing, I guess I don't have to take 3 or 4 words out of RING RING RING and turn them around to announce that there's a new entry up, do I? But what if I WANT to do that still?

>> Mikey got his ass kicked: RING RING RING (look to your right and scroll).

>> MORE BACKYARD RAMP PHOTOS, HOMEBOY (SEND US YOURS):

This one is of lil' Emmet Jenkins pulling a rock to fakie on a secret ramp in Pedro. Have you seen those MY KID ROCKS TO FAKIE BETTER THAN YOUR KID bumper stickers yet? Me neither, but Emmet shreds.

>> QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"Just pay me in hats." - Mark Lewman

PAST ENTRY
SAT, APRIL 26, 2003

>> Our team of leading technology experts at the Crailtap Institute™ have been working for months in secret on a compact camera designed specifically for shooting skateboard photography, wild weekends and floating heads (see yesterday's entry for an example). It's called the CrailCam 3000™ and the project was funded entirely by Bob K because, as you might remember, he broke the Crailcam 2000™ and we've been garnishing his wages ever since. Next weekend, upon his journey North to Slam City Jam and the Yeah Right! photo show at Antisocial, Clive Noctchaw will be equipped with the first prototype to leave the lab. Get ready for intensive coverage, dude, as Bob K has decided to join Clive in his travels to the Great White North in order to keep a close eye on the Crailcam and to assist in the recruitment of Honourary Crail Canadians.

>> If you're going to be in Vancouver next weekend, you should really check out that Yeah Right! photo show. The opening is on Friday night at Antisocial and the show will have behind the scenes photos of the making of the video taken by Andy Mueller, Spike Jonze and Bob Kronbauer. Here's some driving directions to get you from Slam City Jam to Antisocial.

>> YOUR BACKYARD RAMPS AND SETUPS AND CRAP LIKE THAT:

This one was sent in by David of Gretna, Virginia. Looks like a fun place to play street hockey. Or to skateboard.

>> Here's that unsettling photo of that one Londoner holding Koston again. Just thought you might want to take a second look at it.

PAST ENTRY
FRI, APRIL 25, 2003

>> Your guesses ranged from Dave Swift to Kevin Wilkins to Greg Carroll to Jon Holland to Peter Sullivan to Sean Sheffey, but the mystery man in yesterday's photograph is actually JOEL PATTERSON. Here are the winning entries to the IMAGINE WHAT JOELY'S THINKING IN THE PHOTO contest:

"I wonder if that hot pocket I was microwaving is ready yet?" - Kevin S

"If I hadn't stolen those boards I could have gotten in on the snack machine game like Smyth." - Zack B

Congratulations to Kevin and Zack who are both one Mike's a Dick / Rick's a Dick t-shirt richer.

>> Here's an old Mike Carroll interview with an intro written by Mike's favorite person, Joel Patterson.

>> A big shaka goes out to Dan Wolfe who sent us a link to his video clip of Tim O'Connor (one of Tha Tap's new "favorite people"), Reese Forbes, Huf, Rob Welsh, Gonz, Nate Jones and Tommy G talking about the top 3 skaters who they want to see footage from. Dan says: "They want Gino".

>> Diamond finally has a kinda sorta web presence, and the Chocolate site has been updated with the new products.

>> Is it just me or is there something really strange about the way that the guy in this photo is holding Eric? Dude, give the man some space - he's got valuable tracking equipment in his wig. More photos and words about the London Yeah Right! premiere are available here.

>> Oh yeah... due to that lunar eclipse that happened earlier this afternoon, both Koston and Smyth's satellite chips aren't working at the moment. But if we had to guess, we'd say that Eric and the dudes in Europe are shopping and/or eating again and Smyth and his crew are in the Midwest heading back to California in a minivan with stickers all over it.

>> Friends of JoJo: RING RING RING.

>> I think I just saw Guy Mariano skating the Girl park.

>> What did we rename the Achievements in Advertising awards to again? Whatever, here's an award winning flier from Lakai's Canadian distributor.

>> Be Prepared, Tappers
(daily tips for better living):

B.P.T. #7
You know how some people, after they've gripped a skateboard, run the scraps of griptape along the edges of the sticked griptape to smooth it out? Well, somebody recently told me that by doing that, you're also scraping off the enamel from the wood, making it more susceptible to damage and/or warping. I argued that the same thing happens to the underside of your board as soon as you ollie or do a boardslide or whatever, and then I concluded that this piece of advice passed on to me was utter nonsense. Tip #7 is this: you should rub griptape all over the edges of your board after you've gripped it.

B.P.T. #8
If you skate for DVS and you're wearing Vans at a demo, it's not effective for you to write "DVS" in red felt marker on your shoes so that people might think that you actually skate in DVS's. Nobody's buyin' that, man.

>> BACKYARD RAMP BONANZA:

This is all that's left of our backyard ramp that we spent so much time making the other day. We're bummed. Send us photos of your ramps, please.

>> Usually we don't post rumors or even bonafide news about other companies, but we thought you might want to know that your favorite beat mag, Stance, has closed it's doors and will not be releasing any more issues.

>> Tito Larue (of the Shampoo Lounge), Kevin Wilkins (of the Flannel Report), Arvedis Tock (of The Tocker) and Aaron Meza (of Where The Pro's Sh!t) have all been sent warning letters typed up on official Crailtap stationery and signed by a notary public. The letters are regarding contractual obligations that these employees have all failed to adhere to. An entire new Crailstaff is being interviewed for positions today, so keep your eyes open for a new and improved Tap after we settle these lawsuits. Or not.

>> QUOTE OF THE DAY:

PAST ENTRY
THU, APRIL 24, 2003

>> The Koston Locator Chip™ (KOLC) has found Eric shopping for shoes in London with the dudes, and Smyth's uplink tells us that he and the crew have finally made it to New York after a few detours (the last being a wrong turn in Montana that took them over the border and into Gimley, Manitoba).

>> Hey, Meza! Yeah you, Aaron Meza. Listen, dude, if you don't send us another bathroom profile soon, we're going to sue you for breach of contract. We realize that you don't know all that many pro's, so maybe just send us a profile of your own bathroom if you have to.

>> Tim Gavin hates being on Crailtap.

>> Shocking similarities: RING RING RING.

>> Remember the reversible Rick's A Dick / Mike's A Dick t-shirts that we were going to sell in the Crailshop? Well, we gave almost all of them away before we got a chance to put em up for sale, but we're giving you a chance to WIN ONE OF THE REMAINING SHIRTS. All you've gotta do is tell us who the dude pictured above is, and also tell us what you imagine he was thinking at the time that this photograph was taken. Here's a hint: he was the team manager at Girl a long-ass time ago ("I was a really bad team manager, I would have hated me... I was worth hating") and after he got fired from that position he worked at Transworld Skateboarding as the editor. Send us your entries and we'll draw a couple of winners tomorrow.

>> We heard that it's been raining for the past 41 days in Vancouver. That kinda really sucks.

>> Be Prepared, Tappers
(daily tips for better living):

B.P.T. #5
You should always be nice to people, even if they're really stupid.

B.P.T. #6
If you have a garden where you grow peas, don't let them grow for too long before you pick them because the big fat ones, although they might look like they'd be the best because they're the biggest, taste super gross.

>> Mike Carroll is a man of many talents.

>> BACKYARD RAMPS SHMACKYARD MAMPS:

There's a revolution going on, people. Super high quality ramps are going up everywhere you look these days. This top secret TF belongs to a dude who is known simply as "Mike N". See the flatbar in the driveway on the left? Hella tight.

>> Do you get e-mail complaints every couple of days from Matt Schnurr, a dude who you've never met or contacted ever in your whole entire life? Do you wonder why he keeps e-mailing you even after you send him swear words in return? Me too.

>> WAY FAKE SHOUT-OUTS:

Yo, I wannna say whatsup to all my homies in the LBC, Lisa in Inglewood, my cousin Jay up in Rikers (stay strong!), Joey and Dave at Mr Rib in Marina Del Rey, CR (you know who you are!), Shaney, The Plug, Big Sonny, Anthony, Richard "Lala" Lalonde, the Split Nuts crew and all the fools up in Olympia, Washington! Peace! I'm out!

PAST ENTRY
WED, APRIL 23, 2003

>> By some miracle, the faulty satellite chip in Koston's wig started working again last night. We've tracked him down to a bar stool inbetween Rick and Ty in London. Smyth and the dudes checked the Tap just in time and are hightailing it to New York for the Yeah Right! premiere at Supreme.

>> Somebody's about to get a new hat: RING RING RING.

>> BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER (SPECIAL YEAH RIGHT! EURO PREMIERE EDITION):

Rick Howard had meatballs with gravy for breakfast, Mike Carroll had a poached egg with mayonnaise on toast for lunch and Koston had fish n' chips and a Guinness for dinner.

>> It's been confirmed: Clive Noctchaw will be heading north of the border next weekend to track down and interview potential Honourary Crail Canadians. Oh, and he'll also be lurking at that big contest thing and the Yeah Right! photo show at Antisocial.

>> LEW'S NEW WORD OF THE DAY:

It's a term that stands for a slogan: "FUN on the RUN." I think we've all had experience with that one.

Frun can also can be an abbreviation, for "FUCKIN' RUN!" which is what you do when you hear the distant acceleration of a police interceptor motor revving toward you, having just lit the fuse on that brick of firerackers.

>> Be Prepared, Tappers
(daily tips for better living):

B.P.T. #4
If you're on the phone and you really have to go to the bathroom (and you don't want to be rude and try to sneak in a number 1 or a number 2), a good way to get off the line if you feel yourself on the verge of exploding, is to interrupt with a sense of urgency:

A) "I gotta get a package ready for Fed Ex and the guy's going to be here any minute."

B) "Oh my god, my cat just got outdoors!" (yell cat's name) "Hey, I gotta go get my kitty. Call you back in a minute."

>> It looks as though Greg Carroll is about to quit his job at Girl. We just got this e-mail from him:

"LET ME SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT! I LOVE MY NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE MY NEW HOUSE!!!!!!!!! I LOVE WORKING WITH MY BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH MY FRIENDS IN LA. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE BEING ABLE TO FLY TO SF WHEN EVER I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH MORE OF MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THE WEATHER IN SO-CAL!!!!!!!! I LOVE MY LIFE. I LOVE IT!!I LOVE IT!!I LOVE IT!!"

>> BACKYARD RAMPS CRAPS WHATEVERS AND STUFFS:

In preparation for the first annual One Arm Tied Behind Your Back Ollie Competition that was held at Crail Headquarters earlier today, Bob K spent all day yesterday designing and constructing a backyard ramp that is nothing short of amazing. Girl Skateboards sales duuude, Shea Johnson, won the contest, Bob came in second and Tony Larson sat at the picnic table eating tacos, cheering and yelling out curse words (photos by Eric Anthony).

>> QUOTES OF THE DAY:

"If Clive doesn't go to Slam City Jam, the terrorists win" - Megan

"I guess it isn't cool to ask people to be cool" - Megan

"Retard with a credit card... I spent $500 here last night." - Megan

PAST ENTRY
TUE, APRIL 22, 2003

>> Koston washed his hair last night and during the process he inadvertently* destroyed our tracking device that we had planted in his wig, but the Smyth cell radar is fully functional and it has him and the USA premiere brodies located somewhere just North of the Oregon border. Smyth, if you're reading this... YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY, DUDE! GO EAST! EAST!

*in'ad-ver'tent-ly adv
1. Not duly attentive.
2. Marked by unintentional lack of care.

>> Clive Noctchaw might be going up to Canada soon to scout out potential Honourary Crail Canadians for that one person who writes Ring Ring Ring. Cross your fingers.

>> In other Canada related news, Antisocial (604-708-5678) will be holding a Yeah Right! photo show in their gallery space that will be opening during this year's Slam City Jam contest in early May. The show will include a bunch of photos taken by Andy Mueller, a few by Spike Jonze and a couple by Bob K, and it is our understanding that the nicely printed and framed photographs will all be available for sale.

>> Rick McCrank has another link he wants you to check out. This one is a newspaper article about skateboarding becoming legal in Vancouver, BC. It also talks about a new skatepark within the city limits and pro skaters "Ryan (Sluggo) Boyce, Alex Chalmers and Colin McKay".

>> LEW'S LINK OF THE MOMENT:

Hand Boy and Skate Inventor.

>> BACKYARD RAMPS THAT NEVER SEEM TO BE IN THE BACKYARD:

Chris Hubbard from Highlands Ranch, Colorado sent in this setup... "It's not much, but we have fun anyway". Cool. Chris is the dude pictured on the right displaying proper posture. His friend Gerald is the beaten down looking sloucher on the left. If Gerald was my friend, I'd nickname him "Slouchy" because everybody likes nicknames.

>> Spike Jonze has a compilation DVD project in the works right now. More on that soon.

>> Hop on the loser bus: RING RING RING.

>> Just when we thought the flow of Girl P.O.P. doll photos had been dammed, in comes this photo from Will @ Interstate8.

>> QUOTES OF THE DAY:

"My legs are never tired, I stay off the high road" - Bob K

"You look like you'd be way less of a bitch" - Bartender to Megan

"My cell phone doesn't fit in any of my pockets" - The Gav, about the laptop he calls a cell phone

>> MINI OFFICE SOUNDS DAY TWO:
Tito Larue doesn't work in the office and he's technically banned from Tha Tap... but here's some of the stuff he's been listening to lately anyway:

Rolling Stones
Exile On Main St.

Tindersticks
Trouble Every Day Soundtrack

Joy Division
Substance

Joy Division
Permanent

New Order
Power, Corruption & Lies

New Order
Best Of...

Echo & The Bunnymen
Ocean Rain

The Church
Starfish

John Lee Hooker
Best Of Friends

Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds
The Boatman's Call

Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds
Live Seeds

Strange voices

The house settling

Silence

PAST ENTRY
MON, APRIL 21, 2003

>> According to the tracking device that we planted in Sam Smyth's cell phone, the USA Yeah Right! premiere crew is nearing Phoenix this very minute. Koston's chip (we put it in his wig, don't tell him) has him located somewhere over the Atlantic ocean, headed for London and the premiere over there with the international travelers. Does anybody want to bet that Mike Carroll is dead asleep, leaning on Eric's shoulder and drooling all over one of those little pillows that they give you on the plane?

>> Remember how last year we held the Achievements In Advertising Awards and then we changed it to another name for this year? Well, I don't remember what that other name was so we're gonna have to rename it again and start from scratch. How about we call it The 99% Post-Consumer Recycled Paper Awards. Here's WINNER #1.

>> Can anybody spare a ring for a weekend?: RING RING.

>> We were going to do another OFFICE SOUNDS article but due to a lack of interest from the Crailstaff we've only received a couple lists of music that they've been rocking. We'll be dumping em on you over the next few days. Here's Sam Smyth's current playlist:

Seymore Hennessey
(Henry Sanchez)
Bootlegs

Don Toine
(Antoine Blair)
Bootlegs

Done Deal Fam
Family Business

Cellski
Mixtape Vol. 2
Innercity2k.com

>> BACKYARD AND FRONTYARD RAMPS STUFF:

This one was sent in by a guy named "Jorel". His name isn't really "Jorel" but he wants us to call him "Jorel" because he doesn't want anybody to track him down and skate this obstacle that he's got out in front of his house somewhere (he didn't say exactly where, for obvious reasons). I guess you're gonna have to make your own obstacles... then send photos of them to us.