Crailtap :: Randoms

>> WHOA! Looks as though Clive is in cahoots with Bob and Charlene -- wiping out my post from yesterday regarding their conspiracy to win free boards. Well, I'll post it again. And after the post I'll paste in a sampling of the responses that came in -- yes, many responses made it in before the post was yanked by our boy, Clive "I'm not at Crailtap HQ" Noctchaw. Here's yesterday's post:

**********

Crail Tap would like to apologize for the behavior of two of its employees. The Tap would also like to ask for your help in selecting the proper discipline.

A few months back, Transworld Skateboarding Magazine ran a small contest. The object of the contest was to guess who some goofs in Halloween costumes were and the nice folks at Transworld would send you a free deck if you got all the names correct.

All the people pictured in the costumes were closely affiliated with Girl. Their were employees, owners, professional skateboarders and close friends of the Girl Family.

We're guessing that Transworld held this contest for some of their subscribers, not a bunch of cheating insiders over at The Tap.

Bob Kronbauer and Charlene Calac are not who Transworld probably wanted that free skate deck to go to. But it did. Our secretary, Charlene, and one of the Girl Art Dumpers, Bob, skeemed and plotted, sent in an entry and won the deck.

What next, Bob and Charlene? Enter the contests we hold on Crail?

Transworld, please accept the apology on behalf of the rest of the decent staff here at Girl and The Tap. And we'll get that deck back to you ASAP.

And Tappers, vote now for the appropriate punishment for Bob and Charlene.

1. Fire them
2. Fire them and make Charlene marry Bob and send them both back to Canada
3. Fire them and then re hire them and then fire them again.

Vote now!

**********

And here are a few responses to that post thus far:

**********

"Rehire both of them sans firing and make Megan Baltimore marry me. Sound good? I thought so."
— cabbie @ supercentral.org

"I vote #2. Fuckers."
— amccarthy

"Send both those greedy bastards back to Canada, that should be punishment enough."
— Rob Schlegel

"Option 2 is the best punishment. They should also be spanked with moon rods."
— Devin Kochanasz

"FIRE THEM AND RE-HIRE THEM ON A SMALLER SALARY!"
— Adrian Cramp @ Hardcore, Australia

"Numbah three. Exept when firing them again, find one of those street corner orange salespersons to do it. En Español. When my employees are late to work,Ii have them clean the bathroom, crap in the throne, then clean it again, just for fun."
— Sam Perkin's dog

"Man, I don't know about [your punishments for] Bob and Charlene for cheating, even though it would be pretty harsh, they'd be getting off way to easy, you guys got to make them pay for what they did, like make them dress up in halloween costumes for the rest of the year, or make them hold there own contest and then they'll have to buy the winner a free skateboard, that should teach them a lesson! Good luck."
— Mike Muirhead

>> Hey people, Clive Noctchaw here. I have an apology to make to all of the loyal Tappers who came here today expecting some intereting tidbits of information in the Randoms. See, I spent last night partying with Tito Larue at the Shampoo Lounge (yes, it's still open) and unfortunately I wound up sipping on some really cheap champagne with Biebel and fell asleep under one of the tables right before closing time. I woke up this morning at 7AM, like I always do (except that this time I had somebody's skivvies draped over my eyes for some reason), and I was LOCKED INSIDE THE SHAMPOO LOUNGE! It's a good thing I had my laptop on me, with which I'm using to write these words to you. The bad news is that I'm not at Crailtap HQ, where all the good stuff goes down, so I don't really have much to report to you today. However, there is a RING RING RING column to read through, if you're the reading type. And tomorrow I hope to be out of the Shampoo Lounge and back at work, so expect The Crailtap Of Your Dreams Part Two.

"I will believe the video is done when I see them in my warehouse" - Distributor to Megan

"Those cookies are amazing, I saved a few for Andy" - Eric Anthony after mowing through all the Peanut Busters with no concern for his boyish figure.

"Does it have a mouth hole?" - Jereme Rogers regarding the Girl blow-up doll

>> Lakai is going to have some wicked awesome new t-shirt and hat colorways next season. Party!

>> Do you ever feel like you're too busy to think of anything interesting to say so instead of trying to think of new and interesting things to say you just talk about not having anything interesting to say instead? Yeah, neither have we.

>> The Reverend Owl at Tiki Room skateshop in Regina, Saskatchewan (that's in Canada) has a lot of time on his hands: "It's minus 35 degrees and one of the only products we stock are skateboards! Genius!". Harsh P.O.P. photo #6.

Specially designed by the marketing professors here at the Girl Skateboarding Institute, the Girl blowup is guaranteed to bring in 317% more sales to skateshops when displayed properly. The Reverend Owl at Tiki Room is clearly not displaying the item properly... you'd think with all of that spare time on his hands he'd get around to dusting the thing once every few months. He's not as dirty as the filthy animals over at Dirty Jer's boardshop, but he's dirty nonetheless.

>> Wow, the dudes at Dirty Jer's Boardshop are just that: DIRTY! They sent in some EXTRA HARSH P.O.P. photos that involved the Girl blowup P.O.P. doll, an inflatable sheep and themselves in questionable poses with these plastic things. There was only one pic (Harsh P.O.P. photo #5) that they sent in that wasn't TOO HOT FOR THA TAP.

>> For anybody who was wondering about that ALI G, KEEPIN IT REAL link from a couple of days ago, it has nothing to do with Smyth's Real World reviews that go by the same name. We just meant that Ali G is KEEPIN' IT REAL!

>> Active in San Dimas is holding a premiere for the new Firm video tomorrow. If you're in the neighborhood, stop by. Here's the flier for ya.

>> Did we already tell you that Richard Mulder went to San Dimas High School where Bill and Ted went? Excellent.

"Don't worry, I am just a heavily tattooed guy who served time, know hand-to-hand combat, boxed in the US Army and now practice Shoalin Kung Fu and just did a trace route on your web site and now have your home address: [ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER CENSORED BY THE TAP] Shit, I forgot. I also practice non-violence now. Thanks and good luck kid." - Rob Abeyta's response to being 'appropriated'

"I found this geodesic dome home for sale in a good part of town" - Don Pendleton on buying a house in Ohio

>> Would you like to win the box of Fillmore sample wheels pictured above? Tune in tomorrow when we'll give you a chance to win the box of Fillmore sample wheels pictured above.

"Once again Crailtap does make dreams come true. My real american name is Christopher Katus Krystof Zakowicz... don't ban me from the tap." - The winner of the I WANT MUELLER'S STUFF photo contest

>> Have you seen our very own Rob Abeyta's Supreme Mundane web site lately? He's totally biting Elefont (not to be confused with our pal Don P's elePHont). Rob's always been a harsh biter.

Never Been Done - the Jon Comer documentary that we mentioned a few days ago. Make sure to watch the trailer.

Love Park is skateable again, Aaron Meza is the new editor of Maxim and Tim Gavin's shoulder has healed nicely after his incident with the hot dog cart. He really doesn't look mutated at all.

>> Be on the lookout for a Fillmore Wheels contest coming soon to the tap. Win yourself a whole lotta wheels, holmes, and some Diamond stuff.

>> Have you ever thought about doing a switch backside tailslide on a flat bar, turning it into a backside noseblunt slide and then popping out early over the other side and rolling away forwards? That'd be a cool trick to do.

>> Harsh P.O.P. photo #4 is brought to you by those crazy Australians (One T and Al) at Hardcore Distribution down under! Shops, keep sending in your photos of the Girl P.O.P. blowup and we'll keep posting them.

>> We've caught wind of some roster updates over at Skate Mental. More on that soon.

>> Remember the I WANT MUELLER'S STUFF photo contest that we held? We received 15 entries in the mail and have finally narrowed the field down to one lucky winner. The competition was fierce and it was a tough decision to make, but in the end Krystof Zakowicz of Santa Monica, CA, took the cake with a shockingly intense and incredibly artisitic photo of a common squirrel. Check out all the entries!

>> Harsh P.O.P. photo #3 takes the cake for the best one sent in so far. It's from The Full Kit skateshop in Iowo City. Are those Wooden OG dolls?

Shop owners and employees, keep sending us your Girl P.O.P. blowup doll photos and we'll keep posting them along with links to your shops.

>> Kevin Wilkins tells us that stealing links isn't really stealing links, but is more like appropriation of links, which makes it just fine in this day and age. Cool. Works for us:

>> Somebody stole Arvedis' office! We don't mean that somebody new came and moved into his office... somebody actually STOLE his office. See, he was working in a portable trailer out back and we realized today that somebody came and just took it away while we weren't looking. We haven't heard from the Tocker for a week or so, but we're pretty sure when he comes back he's gonna be severely bummed. That is IF he comes back... stay tuned.

>> Two time honorary Crail Canadian, Rick McCrank, just placed 3rd in that World Cup Australia contest that we forgot to tell you about.

>> If you want to learn more about Rick, and if you want to know who rides for Fillmore Wheel Co, check the RING RING RING.

E-MAIL US PHOTOS OF YOU AND/OR ANY SHOP EMPLOYEES HANGING OUT WITH THE GIRL P.O.P. BLOWUP LIKE THE ONES PICTURED ABOVE (#1 and #2) AND WE'LL POST EM HERE ALONG WITH A LINK TO YOUR SHOP.

>> Have you seen the bonus footage on the Harsh Euro Barge DVD? It's like a whole other video, holmes. There's no director's commentary on the disc, but that's okay... maybe there'll be one for Yeah Right?

>> Yesterday's Randoms are probably more interesting than today's, so if you were disppointed with what we had to offer you today, just scroll down a lil bit. This past weekend while you were outside skateboarding, we were typing about amputees, television, skateboard illustrations, classic skateboard companies and so much more.

>> We posted an illustration of Rick Howard that this girl Maiko did a while back, but we had no idea she had such a huge library of drawings of professional skateboarders. Pretty cool stuff.

>> Making out and mechanical bulls in today's Keepin' It Real Real World report.

>> Skullskates has posted an extensive ONLINE SKATEBOARD MUSEUM chronicling designs from the 1920's through the 1990's.

>> The ORIGINAL street pirate, Crail pal Jon Comer, has a documentary coming out soon.

It's not really skateboard related, but the Tap's Randoms somehow squeezed in to Trustzabo's linkchecker news blitz page.

>> In case you didn't notice that huge annoying pop up window, the HARSH EURO BARGE DVD is now available in the CRAILSHOP.

>> Are Mel Bend and Lettus Bee teaming up with The Big Stupid in an upcoming issue of Slap? Yes they are.

>> Are the people who brought us Gleaming The Cube working on yet another movie about skateboarding as you read this? No they're not.

>> Every year around this time we hold a very special Girl Skateboard CO Valentine's Day Talent Contest. Two years ago Mike Leon won with some poetry and a mustache. Last year Bob K took it with a short film. And this year's winner... [the anticipation is killing you, we know!] was our driver, Rich, who created this amazing greeting card and walked away 100 bucks richer.

"I don't know why I put a release date out there before securing a venue for the premiere..." - Smyth on the "+13 days" mixup.

>> Kenny Anderson got a harsh Chocolate tattoo. Photo: that guy that looks just like Ako if he had an afro.

>> The dudes all got back from Australia today, all except for Mr and Mrs Brad Staba who are vacationing somewhere over there.

>> Despite our best attempts at convincing him, Jereme Rogers STILL hasn't changed his phone number, which is STILL 774-406-1412.

>> Ernie from Trinity Skateboard Shop sent in another photo for your eyes. This one was taken back in the day when Spike Jonze was shooting Ray Barbee's pro spotlight for TWS. That's our very own Kevin Wilkins standing on the deck, too. Is it kinda strange that Kev isnt wearing a flannel in the photo but Ray and Spike both are?

>> Don't worry, if you miss Koston on MTV Cribs tonight, they just MIGHT play it again:

Wednesday, Feb 12 @ 10:00 PM
Saturday, Feb 15 @ 7:30 AM
Saturday, Feb 15 @ 7:30 PM
Sunday, Feb 16 @ 11:30 AM
Sunday, Feb 16 @ 6:00 PM
Monday, Feb 17 @ 7:30 AM
Tuesday, Feb 18 @ 2:00 PM
Wednesday, Feb 19 @ 9:30 PM

>> We just uploaded 20 or so classic boards that are no longer available in shops, starting at $29.95. Giddyup.

>> Andy Dick, Trick Daddy and Eric Koston are all on MTV Cribs tomorrow at 7:00 PM PST or 10:00 PM EST.

Skate tips, skate museum, photo gallery and of course, SKATEBOARDS... Calskate in Portland, Oregon!

VENOM! The Midwest Master of Disaster (Clive Noctchaw toured with this guy back in the 90's).

>> We've stolen a couple of skate links from Conform lately, in case you were wondering.

NEW GIRL VIDEO
IN 53 DAYS
"Please stop posting the days left...don't the kids know everything on the internet is not true..." - Ty Evans

"Just as he was getting the last of his unmentionables packed for his trip to Australia, I interviewed Rick McCrank for his Pro Spotlight in June's issue of TWS. Atiba's been shooting the photos and a beautiful glossy rendering of the whole process should be on the newsstands in less than sixty days..."

>> Got a brand new puppy dog but you're not quite sure what to name him? Here's some doggy name suggestions courtesy of the tap:

Banjo Clipper
Sir Tarmac
Slickety Jimbo
Penny Lou III
Precious Cotton Candy
Little Toby III
Senor Taillywag
Mammy's Moonshine
Country's King Roger
Wee Willy Of Torrance
Ronnie Jackshack
Popeye
Country Mabel
Elle Tigre
Shadamantion Whistlestop
Chick

>> Keep your eyes on the live parking block cam in the Girl park this weekend! Rumor has it that a top secret YEAH RIGHT! filming session might be going down.

>> Megan wanted us to share these QUOTES OF THE DAY that she gathered last night:

"Oh, I wrote all the names down. Precious Cotton Candy, all of them" - Bob K

IN 56 DAYS
"Drop my name as much and as often as you like...." - Spike Jonze

>> The Tocker you love to hate, Arvedis Tock, is back in LA and has delivered some new reviews!

>> Carroll brothers reunited! Here's the official thing, makin' it all official n' sh!t.

>> Dan Wolfe came into Girl today and kicked Brian Mettee's ass because of his comment that we posted in the Randoms yesterday. This is not a joke, this is serious. Do not mess with The Lone Wolfe.

>> We're going to go skateboarding this weekend down at the beach. Meet us there.

IN 57 DAYS
"F Dan Wolfe, April 4th is my birthday, fool!" - Brian Mettee, Girl Skateboard Co's Beekeeper

>> Okay, so you might have already clued in but Rick Howard, Mike Carroll, Brian Anderson, Brad Staba and John Rattray are all in Australia right now with Aaron Meza for some Skateboarder article thing. If you yourself are also in Australia, you should perhaps attempt to track them down and follow them around, holding up huge signs that say WE LOVE CRAILTAP! We'll send you a free t-shirt if you send us photographic evidence of you doing this.

>> Rob Wu Welsh and Kevin Taylor were spotted at Girl today. They're both in Socal trying to film for a Transworld video part.

>> 80% of the population of England watched a documentary about Michael Jackson yesterday evening. Sam Smyth watched the Real World and tells you all about the episode in today's Keepin' It Real.

>> In case you were busy watching TV yesterday, here it is again: Wallride 5 is now available in the Crailshop.

>> The stalker's bible bids a fond farewell to the one and only The Hime: RING RING RING.

"Phat living room, phat kitchen, phat terrace..." - Spencer Fujimoto on his phat new crib

"I don't remember 1988. I was riding my Big Wheel off of stairs and shit." - Jeremy Carnahan, on his childhood

- A fun little online skateboarding video game: GmaxSkateboarding. (stolen from Skateboardermag.com)
- Classic early 90's skateboarding ads and stuff:
Mandatory Information (stolen from Conform.tv).
- Comprehensive USA skatepark guide:
Skatespots.com (also stolen from Conform.tv).
- Patrick Kerr:
Skateboard Scholarhsip? (stolen from Skatenerd.com).
- Something to do with building your own boards using TAP technology (in no way affiliated to THE Tap)"
Roraockit! (also stolen from Skatenerd.com)

IN 58 DAYS
"April 4th? That's my birthday. Maybe I can finish 'Closure' by then too. Yeah right!" - Dan Wolfe [click to see how psyched he is]

>> Did you know that Greg Carroll works at Girl now? Yep (welcome aboard, Greg!). Look forward to many Quotes Of The Day courtesy of Greg (no nickname currently available) C in the future.

"Hey, Fatass, how come you didn't upload RING RING RING yesterday?" - The Person Who Writes RING RING RING.

>> MORE CORRECTIONS:
The Gav's new column is going to be called THE GAV, KICKING AND TICKING, not HOW I TICK. And Ty Evans claims that the director's commentary on the Sight Unseen DVD was really good.

"I'm not any sort of professional speaker or lecturer..." - Kirk Dianda, ON Video DVD commenterrorist

IN 60 DAYS
"If my computer had a neck, I'd choke that f*cker out" - Ty Evans

>> CORRECTION:
The Gav's new column is going to be called HOW I TICK, not HOW I KICK.

>> When are those reversible RICK AND MIKE ARE DICKS t-shirts arriving anyway? Soon, I hope.

>> Jereme Rogers STILL hasn't got a new phone. His number is STILL 774-406-1412 if you'd like to talk to him.

>> Have you ever wondered why nobody's ever done a director's commentary on a skateboard video DVD? Watch the new ON Video DVD (with the commentary turned on) and you'll find out EXACTLY why nobody's ever done a director's commentary on a skateboard video DVD.

"My face is on the inside of the shirt, right?" - Rick Howard, regarding the reversible RICK AND MIKE ARE DICKS t-shirt design.

Bob K: What was up with the music in your Emerica part? No Guns N Roses?
Erik: Nah, they couldn't clear the rights to it, man
Bob K: Lame.
Erik: For sure. Oh, I've got a question for the Ask Mikey thing... should I just send an e-mail?
Bob K: Yep.

>> Are you sick of reading yet? Well too bad because The Gav has a new column coming up... it's called HOW I KICK.