Jerry Hsu Top 5

Winner by a landslide of the recent “Who should we bless with the next Top 5” poll, the star of the best video part of ’06, a ray of sunshine in The Storm, and esteemed street photog Jerry Hsu.

Top 5 OG Osiris heads
1. Tyrone Olson
2. Kevin Davis
3. Peter Smolik, let's me skate in clairmont anytime I want
4. Chad Fernandez, he once asked me why everyone liked me and hated him
5. Josh Kasper, now claims he was just kidding about Kasperholics (I will put my hand on a Bible and tell you otherwise)

Top 5 things about traveling with The Cheeks
1. Impressing him with my Spanish
2. Impressing him with my Chinese
3. Talking shit together
4. Him revealing, 'You think I talk a lot of shit now? You shoulda seen me in the EMB days.'
5. Imagining what an asshole he must have been in the EMB days

Top 5 Chinese dudes
1.Short round
2. Long Duck Dong
3. Richard “Data” Wang
4. That guy who played Genghis Khan in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
5. Me

Top 5 Tilt Moders
1. Matt Evs, one time boss, full time dick
2. Louie Barletta, debated inventor of the expression “Tiltmode”
3. Fatbody, he'll eat your food and steal your girlfriend
4. Jesse Erickson, he'll steal your food and eat your girlfriend
5. Billy Valdez, according to MJ, the inventor of the expression “Tiltmode”

Top 5 photographers
1. Michael Burnett
2. Jonathan 'Mumpentor' Mehring
3. Ed Dominick
4. Joe Brook and Mark Whiteley
5. Reda (Sisters of Mercy)

Top 5 things about San Jose
1. All my stuff is here
2. I AM the police
3. Last public lynching in American history occurred 15 blocks from my house
4. People often tell me how they once drove through San Jose on the way to somewhere else
5. Both Jake Phelps and Dionne Warwick have written songs about San Jose

Top 5 things about riding for Royal Trucks
1. The checks never bounce
2. It makes Louie Barletta jealous that I ride for a Girl/Chocolate company
3. For some reason they just kickflip crooks way better than any other truck
4. Bro-ing with RUDY!
5. Rudy giving me guitar advice, “Guitar is kinda hard the first five years, but after ten... its just fun, bro.”

Top 5 things people don't know about you
1. I wore headgear in 7th grade (it hooks onto your braces and wraps around your head. basically, the most embarrassing thing that can happen to a kid in junior high)
2. I have hairy legs
3. My cat, Chairman Meow, ran away recently
4. In 5th grade I ate a dozen donuts in one sitting
5. I can fit 20 grapes in my mouth

Top 5 skaters
1. Sage Humphries
2. Claus Dieta Span
3. Mike Judd
4. Rich Colwell
5. Dennis Dipietrantonio

Top 5 things Jake Phelps has said to you
1. You’re outta the mag
2. You here to beat up the band? We’re all here...
3. Don’t shit where you sleep
4. Don’t mind fraggle over there (referring to Luke Ogden)
5. Fuck man, I’m 200 feet underground in a fullpipe and Dill's up there tryin' to be the Gonz,but that's none of my business!
6. Don’t “bro” me

Top 5 aches and pains
1. The lower back
2. Ankles, I probs won't kickflip until next summer
3. Returning phone calls (sorry everybody)
4. Being away from the pizza of trust
5. I think I have worms

Top 5 random phone numbers programmed in your phone
1. Koston, whom I have never spoken to on the phone
2. About three people named “don’t pick up”
3. JTMR
4. Michael J. Fox (not a random, but always interesting to see that name in my phone)
5. Someone I named “Drugs”

Top 5 people who skated for Maple
1. MJ
2. Chad Michael Knight
3. Dave Coyne
4. Jason Carney
5. The Donger. He would read his poems to kids at demos and smoke more weed than I thought humanly possible...until Caswell started a couple years ago (smoking weed that is)

Top 5 things to do when not skating

1. Dream of doing a Top 5 for crailtap…oh my god it's happening!
2. Think about getting a job
3. Make extensive “to do” lists but never actually do anything on them
4. Hit refresh on my email account page
5. Google myself and ex-girlfriends

Top 5 things you don't want to do this year
1. Stay in San Jose
2. Quit smoking
3. Pay taxes
4. Turn 26
5. Get my act together

Top 5 nicknames given to you
1. Asian Elvis
2. Baby Jerry
3. Senor Bear
4. Chino
5. Slant Eyed Gook Face Baby Killer Red Commie Charlie in the Trees

Top 5 skate spots
1. Nothing someone would call “a Cairo spot”
2. Shenzhen
3. St. marks St. at night
4. Jesse’s ramp (locals only)
5. I dunno man, I just cruise...

Top 5 Clark Hassler quotes
1. It takes 360 vision
2. Just draw a door on the wall and send your cat through to get me
3. We were looking for portals by the freeway
4. All I need to live in is a box
5. I don't want to wear those Babylon shoes

Top 5 ways to say "goodbye"
1. Via text message
2. Via email
3. Just hang up
4. Smoke bomb
5. According to Alex Olson, at parties the “goobye” is actually impolite as it disrupts the flow. To shuffle without saying anything is more considerate