THE HIME

A Top 5 with the only road rep that we kind of like. We're talking about the man in all black, the ex-pro snowboarder, the white Gav that's correct ladies and germs, The Hime.


Top 5 reasons to wear all black
1. Johnny Cash
2. Easy to pick out what to wear
3. Chicks dig it
4. Starbucks proof
5. Last minute funerals


Top 5 traits to look for in a young lady
1. Has never been to a trade show
2. Has never slept with any of my friends
3. Wears a lot of black
4. Doesn't read Crailtap
5. Likes anal


Top 5 most overly used road rep sayings
1. "It's gonna look just like this but a little different in production"
2. "Blowing doors off this thing"
3. "This ones been killing it"
4. "I'm broke, I swear"
5. "No, Koston can't come to your demo"


Top 5 benefits of having rich friends
1. My Denali
2. My couch
3. My entertainment center
4. My Laker tickets
5. Bar tabs for days (not mine)


Top 5 perks of being an ex-pro snowboarder
1. You can always make fun of me for being that guy
2. Saying that I've never gone before and then taking chicks to the hill and pretending like I'm a quick learner.
3. Still getting free snowboards to trade for weed.
4. Being better than Tim and Koston at two things (golf is the other)
5. Knowing that it's a gay sport, but it got me to where I'm at today...which is no where.


Top 5 reasons why Ako is better than Atiba
1. Lives across the street from me.
2. Isn't triple booked when I want to skate
3. Designs my business cards for free
4. Easier to beat at golf
5. Ako's girl cooks me dinner when I ain't got no food.


Top 5 memories of living with The Gav
1. Pool Patrol
2. BudLight, fish sticks, Marlboro mediums
3. Sheffey sleepovers
4. Yoshi messages and visits
5. Bailey the dog


Top 5 hardships about getting passed over for Gav's best man
1. Being told for the first time at dinner with all of your friends there
2. People just expecting me to be and telling them its Schnurr and they say "Who?" then I have to break into the Arizona and Planet Earth stories
3. Not being able to throw the bachelor party, which would have guaranteed a wedding postponement or cancellation.
4. Not being able to give the best man speech, which would have guaranteed a wedding annulment or divorce.
5. Getting passed over for Gav's best man


Top 5 reasons to take a girl to The Laker game
1. She has one day to live and it's her last wish
2. She has 2 days to live and it's her last wish
3. Called everyone I know and no one can go and she has three days to live
4. The tix are in the 300 section no one else can go and she has 4 days to live
5. It's preseason, their playing the Clippers, she drives and pays for parking


Top 5 things you miss about Podium
1. Hanging out with the wake team
2. Shooting the shit with the Metal Mulisha
3. Looking at porn all-day and getting paid for it
4. Getting fired for all the above
5. I DON'T miss not getting paid a single fucking dime for my slipper idea that those bastards not only ripped off, but cashed in on


Top 5 reasons you go to Phish shows even though you don't like the music
1. Rudy Johnson quotes for days...
2. Meager Keith (aka Pat Lawlor)
3. Mushroom chocolates
4. Nitrous
5. Traveling with friends, no matter where you go, always ensures some great memories, and even better video footage. And I do like the music.